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Learning not to Remember


Medical Professionals

Posted by SilverandBlue , 11 February 2014 · 118 views

It seems that the new "professional" is now "casual". I have seen a lot of doctors and counselors and nurses in my life. Some good, some bad, some awesome. Somehow though, all my current doctors and such are all such casual people. Let's see about some examples:
My endo: First appointment, asked all about me and my life. I told her (same first appt!) tha...


Writing and writing

Posted by SilverandBlue , 10 February 2014 · 125 views

I have been doing SO much writing and journaling lately it seems. I had a complete meltdown on Saturday, and managed to write through it, so T can read it and know what goes on in my head when I'm like that :) I can never remember, so hopefully she can help me understand what is causing these "episodes" and how to fix them.
Trigger potentially for...


A tribute of gratefulness

Posted by SilverandBlue , 06 February 2014 · 199 views

If you are set off by overly happy, abundantly joyous people, tread carefully.
I am in a good mood right now. A good place, a place of safety and comfort. A little bit giddy, and anyone that doesn't know me probably would think I was either a little bit high or a little bit drunk. I just get this way. Especially after a lot of mental exertion and stress,...


I keep regressing

Posted by SilverandBlue , 06 February 2014 · 135 views

It's almost as though my mind has decided that by golly, I need to know exactly what happened and that I need to dwell on it for days. I can't leave the trees. If I do, I switch to the classroom or the hard tile of the bathroom. I had my sister's kids this morning, and her 3 year old son keeps saying " I love you blue" and I don't like it. I keep finding...


I feel like I'm just getting worse

Posted by SilverandBlue , 05 February 2014 · 127 views

I had T again today, I've had a lot of T lately, I have just needed it. Each appointment has been difficult, and I always shut down and have been dissociating in a big way whenever I think about the past and elementary school. My vision starts clouding at the edges, I get very aware of everything around me, and simultaneously get completely lost in my own...


What a weekend....Glad it's over

Posted by SilverandBlue , 03 February 2014 · 184 views

Whew. T on Thursday, which was an epic DISASTER. Which messed up the rest of the weekend. I might have actually been fine, if my boyfriend had not been out of town for the weekend! Somehow, he can always calm me down when something like that happens. He is the only one out of the male gender that I trust completely.
At least my therapist called bac...


Seeing a Psychiatrist

Posted by SilverandBlue , 01 February 2014 · 140 views

My therapist finally called me back today, and wants me to see a psychiatrist in addition to seeing her. She thinks my "episode" on Thursday was a mixture of dissociation and just too much sensory overload, so wants some input from a higher level as to what causes that to happen and such.
Dunno how I feel about that. I've never seen a psych before! just t...

February 2014


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