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Learning not to Remember



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-whew- I didn't know that re-living was worse than the original!

Posted by SilverandBlue , 26 November 2013 · 179 views

What a weekend/week and stuff. 4 appointments (endo, GP, New T, current T) and one baby. Not mine I assure you, although I kinda wish, (she's so cuute! ) Between all that, I had to deal with triggering every time someone touches me, or shuts a door. SERIOUSLY. I should have kept it all inside! T forgot to warn me that after such an outpouring of emotion a...


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The switch

Posted by SilverandBlue , 23 November 2013 · 149 views

My T is too nice, I decided. I have had to remind her that she's not my mom on occasion, but she still will not call me out on bs. It is difficult not to manipulate the sessions when she won't just take control and tell me that I'm being ridiculous. So it is to a new T that I go, and with much hope and fear. I do love my T, she helped me a lot. But for pe...


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What the heck?!

Posted by SilverandBlue , 18 November 2013 · 139 views

I don't trigger. I can't explain why, I just don't. It is rare that something will send me into spasms of flashbacks and memory. This may be because I don't do physical contact, and don't have a boyfriend, so that issue has not come up yet.
However, I triggered yesterday. Massively. From the guy in the optical shop touching my face. (-chin tilt- "oh, thos...


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It's all your fault

Posted by SilverandBlue , 17 November 2013 · 117 views

It's funny how we humans are brought up to belittle ourselves. To always take the blame. At least in my home, the understanding was that if you got in trouble at school, it was your fault. Or, the question asked was "what did YOU do?" The same applied to any incident; whether at home or at school.
 
I don't have a huge problem with this. I don't need...


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My Story

Posted by SilverandBlue , 16 November 2013 · 172 views

I am new here; and in a way, feel like pouring everything out might help. I am just that type of person. I have to verbal vomit to avoid an emotional shutdown. (Something I am very prone to doing!)  
 
it is going to take FOREVER to write this out, even though it is not very long. 
 
My story starts in 2nd grade. I was young, naive and...





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