I don't want this to control any aspect of my life. I need advice.
The Fear Is Overwhelming
My Anxiety Is Up...
The Memorys Are Vivid
The Flashbacks Are Awful
My Body Shakes...No Breath Can Escape...
Tampons. Using One Is Something I Have Tried To Do Ever Since I Got My First Period.
I Always End Up Shakeing On The Floor, Out Of Breath, Almost In Tears The Four Times I Have Attempted To Insert one. The Memorys Just Keep Flooding Through My Head...Over And Over Again...And I Can't Get Them Out.
I See The Blonde Haired Man With That Gray Shirt, Those Blue Jeans, And Them Stinky White Sneakers.....Jabbing His Three Fingers Inside Of Me...Over...And Over..And Over Again...Blood Spurts Out...Blood Is On His Fingers ...I Remember Everything About Him But The Face....
He Was Caucasian.
There Was An Investigation When I Was three....The Justice System...Oh Did They Fail Miserably.
The Very Clear Memory Of A Classmate Sticking Her Middle Finger Up In me.....I Screamed And I Screamed...But No One Came To Rescue Me....The Other Classmate That Was There...She Just Laughed And laughed. I was Nine Years Old And Finishing Third Grade. How Could No One In The School Hear Me?
I Forgive Them...Wounds Heal But Scars Still Remain The Same.
Has Anyone Else Been/Is In This Situation?
Has Anyone Who Had Been Could You Please Give Me Advice Of How You Overcome This?
I Don't Want Them To Control My Life Anymore.