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I Don't Remember, But He Does

Posted by sailor , 13 November 2013 · 148 views

For the past 20 years, I have been in a dark place, with only enough light to see him sitting, waiting, haunting my steps. I've had one memory to draw from, where I knew he touched me, but it's hard to pin point those details.
 
I've lived with the feeling that what I remember was only the surface of the truth. I never thought I would have that confirmed. During therapy, James has told me that it is all recorded in there somewhere... that when I'm ready it can resurface. He has never doubted that there was more harm done.
 
Only a few months ago, I reported the abuse to the police. The man I reported has been in prison for 15 years for molesting other children (at least one, maybe two). My detective interviewed him in prison last week... I come to find out that the man was more than willing to share what happened. He gave plenty of details.
 
My detective told me today, "You don't remember most of what happened."
 
We talked about what charges the man might face. The detective said, "Sex abuse in the first degree, that is usually a 6 year sentence. However, he did say it happened multiple times."
I started shaking.
I don't remember multiple times. I've always suspected they were there, but I can't see them.
 
It makes me ill that he can. That he still remembers me. That he wants so badly to remember and talk about it, that he's willing to condemn himself by talking to a detective.



Sitting with you :blanket:, I'm short on words but I just wanted you to know, that we are all here for you. Also, I find you so courageous that you were able speak to out
Sitting with you.

i know how horrible it is, especially when u only remember a little bit and it turns out there's a lot more.

But at least he's not lying about it, so you know its not in your head (because sometimes it feels that way)

and justice is being served, he is in jail where he can't hurt you or anyone else again.

He is being punished.

I know it doesn't take away what he did but at least you know you'll never see him again and he's getting what he deserves, and people like him are not exactly favored in jail. Karma will still get him in more ways than one, i am sure.

You are so brave, keep your head up 

Thank you... I never imagined he would be in prison for what he did to me. I never thought it was enough to punish him for.

I have hope but still have to be cautious, the report hasn't been filed with the DA yet.

July 2014

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