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Not off to a good start on this holiday.

Posted by angelsun , 28 November 2013 · 232 views

It took everything out of me to get my turkey prepared and in the oven.  I am falling apart today.  I am trying to hold it together so that my husband doesn't question whats wrong with me.  He has already done it once today.  I have no answers.  I'm sad, I'm hurt and I am scared.  It came over me suddenly this morning. Why can't I recognize these triggers?  It is screwed up that I can't even enjoy the holiday.  It is screwed up that it can take over and control me like this.  I am alone with this and no one can understand, certainly not my husband.  I have been stuck here for awhile now and with no hope in sight.  I keep feeling it is never going to get better, just will have to deal with this.  Can't help but feel I am being punished for something.  I am not good for my family, not this way.  I just want to disappear.

sending comfort and support

July 2016

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