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Am I a nympho?

Posted by BattenbergPrincess , 19 December 2013 · 253 views

Sex. I just want sex. I don't want a relationship, I don't want feelings, I don't want emotions. Just sex.
 
Or maybe I do want an emotional relationship. I'm just too scared to trust someone else. 
I just want to be in control of the situation and if I'm not I think I'd fall apart. 
 
But after I was raped I was scared of boys and males in general for several months. Now I just want to have sex with almost every lad that comes my way. And I'm bisexual so I'd take any girl either. 
 
I don't want to feel this way, it goes against everything I believe in. But I know of several boys I could turn to for sex. And I don't want to belittle myself to that level. 
 
Please someone help me out here 
I'm desperate for a solution 



Princess.

 

When you are raped, you have CONTROL taken away from you in the most vicious violation using SEX as a weapon. It is a VIOLENT ripping away of your control over your own person, your own most intimate parts. I don't think it's actually SEX you want, but CONTROL. And by choosing to sleep with multiple partners, you are attempting to regain CONTROL over that most private, intimate part of yourself. Please understand that this is a NORMAL response to an ABNORMAL stressor. It's quite understandable that you are reacting this way.

 

Don't use belittling names for yourself over your need to heal. Realize that it's OKAY to need this control. And knowing that it's CONTROL that you want/need, maybe the urge to sleep with everything that walks past will diminish.

 

Some survivors try to gain control by using drugs. Some by using booze. Some by using sex. Some by using food, either overeating or by developing anorexia or bulimia. I was the anorexic that later turned to overeating. More than 40 years after the first rape, I'm finally managing to control my diet in a HEALTHY manner rather than a compulsive one.

 

Take gentle care of you. Do what you need to help you HEAL.

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BattenbergPrincess
Dec 23 2013 04:32 PM

Thank you very much for your comment it really does mean a lot to me.

 

I am trying to gain control over my actions and minimise the damage they cause 

 

Thanks again for caring x x 

Lots of survivors become "promiscuous" after being assaulted, so you're definitely not alone there. Hope you work out a good solution to your problem.

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