Jump to content


Feeling down.

Posted by LotusG1rl , 22 September 2013 · 66 views

I'm just sad. Sad for the little girl that was spanked and had bars of soap shoved in her mouth. Sad for the girl that was sexually abused for months and had no voice. Sad for the girl who was sexually assaulted and so ashamed she erased it from her mind until watching a lifetime movie,years later, where the type of assault was considered a rape. Finally though able to tell one person, her partner. I told someone what had happened. Finally. I'm sad for the girl who has only a vague idea of what it means to love and be loved. Sad for the girl who now only knows what it means to have someone care. I'm just sad. This girl is hurting and I haven't a clue how to make her better. While the grown up her has put back all the pieces and collected everything the little girl aches for something. I don't know what she wants. To be loved? Cared for? Respected? Validated? Why can't she grasp and accept she is all of these things? She keeps pulling me back. Pulling me back to remind me of the pain. The pain and heart ache that had to be endured. I want to shake her and tell her to let it go. Accept what happened and move on!!!!! Everything will be ok. You are ok! But we're treading high water. Stuck in a place where it feels as there is no hope for this girl. I want to leave her but it hurts to much. How can I leave this little girl inside that is sad, broken and confused? But I know I am so much better without her. I am happy. I'm free from the pain. What can I do?

November 2015

29 30      

Recent Entries


Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.