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wildnfree's Blog



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Aha moment

Posted by wildnfree , 15 May 2016 · 54 views

I just had an aha moment this weekend about my abuser. He was a huge hypocrite that contradicted every thing he said for tear me down. He was from the church I attended and would say things related to it to tear me down.

He and his mother would always tell me my dreams were stupid, my life sucked, I didnt have enough friends, Id never fall in love, I'd...


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I don't like talking to my mom

Posted by wildnfree , in anger, coping 26 March 2016 · 65 views

Talking peacefully with my mother is a challenge. Normal conversations quickly turned into heated arguments. I used to yell back when she'd scream and call me names. But I don't anymore. I tell her I'll talk later when she's calm or that conversation is over.

She constantly questions my job, social life and relationships. Its a huge pain in the ass. I f...


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Something's gotta change

Posted by wildnfree , 20 March 2016 · 106 views

For the past 9 months, I feel like my life has been on a constant loop of doing the same old thing. In work, my social life and relationships, idk if things have changed for the better. I feel like some have gotten worse.

It took an event where I could've gotten hurt to snap me out of this same pattern. Last year this time I had grown so much, but I feel...


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What's going on in my life

Posted by wildnfree , in Uncategorized, anger, coping 25 May 2015 · 237 views

I haven't been on here in a while, so I wanted to give an update about what's going on. In January, I moved away for a school program a few hours away. While I was away from home, I had the time of my life, worked hard,  made lots of friends, and kept my mind off a lot of the abuse I went through. The program was temporary, so I came back home once i...


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Abusers targeting my boyfriend

Posted by wildnfree , in abusers, coping, anger, church 15 December 2014 · 207 views

I don't understand why my abuser and his mom won't stop bothering the people I love. My parents and some childhood friends go to church with them, so they won't stop bothering them. Their latest target has been my boyfriend. The abuser's mom is always asking why he won't speak or love her anymore. Even worse, she recently went to his job and waited outsid...


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I don't think I'm a great auntie :(

Posted by wildnfree , 05 August 2014 · 288 views

I could use some advice. My niece (14) is staying with my family this week and things aren't going well. Things are tense at home, and adding my niece to the mix didn't help. My mom makes my niece wake up at 5am to exercise and work all day. Plus her parents put her on a strict diet so she's very unhappy sometimes. Trying to be there for my niece while ba...


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I hate being so angry

Posted by wildnfree , 25 May 2014 · 200 views

I've been ridiculously angry these past few weeks. Idk why exactly, it could be lot of things This month marks a year since my grandma passed away. She was one of my closest family members. Once she died, I let go of trying to get close to my family...they denied the CSA and don't care how I or any other abused cousins have been affected.

It's been 2+ y...


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I'm jealous and angry

Posted by wildnfree , 02 May 2014 · 259 views

I'm so jealous of my friends that are graduating from college, transferring, or moving away this summer. I feel like they're moving along to the next stage in life, but I'm still still in school struggling to graduate. I'm jealous they've had fun experiences at school, grown and made new friends. Don't get me wrong....I have too, but not to the extent I w...


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Feel like a failure

Posted by wildnfree , 01 May 2014 · 221 views

I'm really dissappointed in myself. I've a come a long way from where I was 7 months ago, but I've hit a wall.  Counseling has helped me, but I'm still struggling a lot in school. I'm barely passsing; I'd be happy with C's in all my classes at this point. My anxiety is flaring up big time. Getting help from disability services has helped, but not a l...


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New Start

Posted by wildnfree , 27 January 2014 · 194 views

I feel like I've been given a new start in a lot of areas. This semester feels like de-ja-vu. Two years ago I was in a relationship and it was 2 of my best friends semester at university. Instead of spending quality time with them before they left, I gave it to a toxic, painful relationship that left me broken and scarred.
 
This time, I'm in a relat...






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