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Meltdown in the supermarket

Posted by TinaL , 27 September 2013 · 214 views

Got all dressed up to go and do our normal Saturday morning grocery shopping at Coles. I was feeling fine, just a 'normal' day.

While my lovely partner and I were walking around the shop, ticking off the grocery list, and depositing grocery items in the trolley....I hit my open toed sandle on the hard wheel of the trolley. Ouch!

No big deal, just a bit of pain. But then, I started to tear up! I guess it was the physical pain releasing emotional pain at the same time! I tried to distract myself by pretending to look at random items on the shelves. The tears kept coming! How embarrassing! I found my sunglasses in my handbag and put them on to hide my eyes. Get it together girl! I kept on shopping, trying to read my grocery list through my tears. Not easy! I just didn't want other people to see my crying.

Tears got worse, no abating! Damn! I told my boyfriend that I had to go. We left our half full trolley and exited the shops pronto. He was so good! He just did anything he could to help me. I drove my car home still crying and feeling like a retard. I even said to him 'I don't understand why you stay with me?'. He was so loving and put his hand on me and said that all was good and his only concern was being there for me and making sure I was ok. We got home, he poured me a glass of wine, and we sat outside on my verandah. He told me how much he loves me and he is there for me for whatever I need him to do. If I needed to talk, or be held or to have a lie down, he was there to support me.

I am so lucky to have such a beautiful person in my life who is there to love me and support me through thick and thin. And, there have been some awful times due to this recovery process. At times he and I both fall down, get angry, get a bit distant from each other, then a few days later we always reconnect. How lucky am I to have such support? He is really the only one there for me. It is slowly rebuilding my trust in men (some men).

I try so hard to be strong but I guess I cannot be that all the time. As I said earlier, physical pain must release the emotional pain at times that is just below the surface.

Oh well...I will finish the grocery shopping tomorrow. lol

Tina :)

omg I did the same thing!! I was wearing these worn out old flats at a restaurant, and I stepped on a nail. That immediate five sec interval from where you feel the pain, to where you mentally figure out what is happening, completely triggered me. TG I was with my mom because I immediately started bawling hysterically.The fear that I felt, felt all to familiar, and the fact that I was triggerred, pissed me off more then anything, because I want so badly for the triggers to stop. Any one else would of wanted to know why in the world this twenty year old woman is crying over stepping on something sharp. But my mom was just like it's ok babe it just hurt. :)

It's great to hear about your awesome partner!! I've just recently started thinking about the possibility of telling other people about what I've been through, but I'm always so afraid it will send them runnin for the hills. It's great to hear your story because it really gives me hope.

Thanks so much for sharing!
Hi Sherodon,

Thank you for sharing your story. I am glad it made you feel better, as your story makes me feel better too! :)

I am glad too that you sound like you have a lovely Mom who loves you and supports you!

I guess we survivors have to allow ourselves these occasional moments when we get triggered. I know we don't like it but it is part of the healing process of letting emotions out and recognising WHY we are having them.

Yes, I am lucky to have such an awesome partner. He told me on the phone tonight that he felt so bad for me in the shopping centre when I was crying and just wanted to hold me to make me feel better. I wouldn't let him though, as I was busy trying to control myself. He is such a sweety!

If you want to tell other people about what you have been through, then all I can suggest is start with a trusted friend or work colleague. I have never had anyone run for the hills yet! And you know what Sherodon, SA effects so many people, chances are, you may be telling someone who has been through it too! I have found that with two trusted work friends. Anyone that runs for the hills isn't a true friend anyway. They may feel uncomfortable about the subject, but if they value you, they will listen and be there for you.

I am here if you want to talk.

Take care

Tina :)

June 2016

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