Meltdown in the supermarket
While my lovely partner and I were walking around the shop, ticking off the grocery list, and depositing grocery items in the trolley....I hit my open toed sandle on the hard wheel of the trolley. Ouch!
No big deal, just a bit of pain. But then, I started to tear up! I guess it was the physical pain releasing emotional pain at the same time! I tried to distract myself by pretending to look at random items on the shelves. The tears kept coming! How embarrassing! I found my sunglasses in my handbag and put them on to hide my eyes. Get it together girl! I kept on shopping, trying to read my grocery list through my tears. Not easy! I just didn't want other people to see my crying.
Tears got worse, no abating! Damn! I told my boyfriend that I had to go. We left our half full trolley and exited the shops pronto. He was so good! He just did anything he could to help me. I drove my car home still crying and feeling like a retard. I even said to him 'I don't understand why you stay with me?'. He was so loving and put his hand on me and said that all was good and his only concern was being there for me and making sure I was ok. We got home, he poured me a glass of wine, and we sat outside on my verandah. He told me how much he loves me and he is there for me for whatever I need him to do. If I needed to talk, or be held or to have a lie down, he was there to support me.
I am so lucky to have such a beautiful person in my life who is there to love me and support me through thick and thin. And, there have been some awful times due to this recovery process. At times he and I both fall down, get angry, get a bit distant from each other, then a few days later we always reconnect. How lucky am I to have such support? He is really the only one there for me. It is slowly rebuilding my trust in men (some men).
I try so hard to be strong but I guess I cannot be that all the time. As I said earlier, physical pain must release the emotional pain at times that is just below the surface.
Oh well...I will finish the grocery shopping tomorrow. lol