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New Memory

Posted by Parlophone , 07 September 2013 · 55 views

Er, more like a resurfaced memory. I've always remembered this, I just never thought it may have been related to CSA.

So, when I was a little girl between the ages of 6 and 8, I remember I was lying down and taking a nap. Anyways, when I woke up (and I am 100% sure I was awake), I remember that I was starting to sit up when someone or something pinned me back down and I fell asleep directly after my head hit the pillow.

Every time I remembered this I never remembered seeing anyone pin me down, just the feeling of someone doing it, so I always thought it was a ghost or something that did it. But while I was in the shower, I was thinking of the things that came up in EMDR therapy about someone opening the door to my dark bedroom but not seeing anyone's hand or anyone come in the room (In fact, I couldn't even see myself in my bed during that session).

That's when this memory came up again and I just froze for a second before pacing like crazy. It just... it couldn't be him... it just couldn't! I mean, I would remember someone pinning me down right?? Even if I couldn't identify who it was, I'd remember something other than a blank space and the feeling of being pinned down wouldn't I??

Source: New Memory



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