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Tomorrow

Posted by angelakempe , 10 August 2013 · 102 views

The night before my SHARP performance, at precisely 7:35pm, my sub bassist cancelled on me. Luckily, I was able to find someone a half an hour later and we did a quick rehearsal together, but I had to pay him double what I did the drummer. (The drummer really deserved more money.) It must have been the topic of rape. I've never had so many musicians cancel before a gig.
I got about two hours of sleep, I was so excited. I awoke at 4am and started getting ready. Things came together and the presentation was great. I think that I even got some people to notice me that might be able to help me get other performances. My mom was in town. Before the show, she read what I was going to say and said that I should tell everyone that I was sexually tortured and raped instead of just raped. I added it last minute and didn't practice saying it. So when I said it on stage, I actually cried a little, said sorry, gathered my courage again, and started a song. If it wasn't for the music, I probably couldn't have said half the things I did. The music made me feel comfortable.
Afterwards, some army people (I think Officers) came up to me and shook my hand. They told me thank you and that I was very brave. The director from the shelter was also there and my mom came in support of me, which was awesome, and a friend.
I got a lot of positive feedback from people and one woman came up to me a shared her own story. I know in my heart that I helped a lot of people by standing up. I'm really glad that it is the day after now. Now that it is "tomorrow" I can eat without getting sick and had a good night sleep.
I was thinking about doing this a lot, but it takes a physical toll on me. I'll try this for a little while and see what happens. I know that Jehovah God is with me. The first time speaking out is always the hardest. Now at least I know what to expect.



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Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.