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Posted by angelakempe , 10 August 2013 · 102 views

The night before my SHARP performance, at precisely 7:35pm, my sub bassist cancelled on me. Luckily, I was able to find someone a half an hour later and we did a quick rehearsal together, but I had to pay him double what I did the drummer. (The drummer really deserved more money.) It must have been the topic of rape. I've never had so many musicians cancel before a gig.
I got about two hours of sleep, I was so excited. I awoke at 4am and started getting ready. Things came together and the presentation was great. I think that I even got some people to notice me that might be able to help me get other performances. My mom was in town. Before the show, she read what I was going to say and said that I should tell everyone that I was sexually tortured and raped instead of just raped. I added it last minute and didn't practice saying it. So when I said it on stage, I actually cried a little, said sorry, gathered my courage again, and started a song. If it wasn't for the music, I probably couldn't have said half the things I did. The music made me feel comfortable.
Afterwards, some army people (I think Officers) came up to me and shook my hand. They told me thank you and that I was very brave. The director from the shelter was also there and my mom came in support of me, which was awesome, and a friend.
I got a lot of positive feedback from people and one woman came up to me a shared her own story. I know in my heart that I helped a lot of people by standing up. I'm really glad that it is the day after now. Now that it is "tomorrow" I can eat without getting sick and had a good night sleep.
I was thinking about doing this a lot, but it takes a physical toll on me. I'll try this for a little while and see what happens. I know that Jehovah God is with me. The first time speaking out is always the hardest. Now at least I know what to expect.

July 2016

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