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The nights are even darker...

Posted by bfitz , 07 July 2013 · 104 views

Four days have come and gone since the rape. Tomorrow morning I will attempt to go back to work as a therapist, with my week mixed in with visits to detectives, the DA, attorneys, and all the while still trying to heal from the physical injuries.

My route to work passes by the Massage Spa where the rape took place. I haven't left the house since so tomorrow morning will be the first time. I'm tired....I try to sleep but find myself jumping up wide awake after an hour. I see his face clearly now, although in the darkness of the massage room I thought perhaps I really didn't see him. But I did...and I felt every violation to my body.

What is hurting the most at night, and especially tonight, is that I can't take away the hurt from my daughter's face...she's 28, a therapist, and was out here visiting from Colorado when it happened. Here she came to have a wonderful family weekend and she leaves with scars of an event that should never have happened. She has a dad with terminal cancer she adores, and now a mom who is broken into a hundred pieces from a rape no one could have ever predicted.

All my girls, and my husband, are struggling. They are being so supportive, but now they need support. I usually am there to give it to them..but I am exhausted. I don't eat, sleep, and feel a million miles away. I wish I were a million miles away. I wish I could take away their pain.

Tomorrow is a new day...a new start...and my world filled with tasks and thoughts all relating to a random rape. Not what I expected for the summer of 2013. I will try to focus on my clients, and their issues, and hopefully make a difference in at least one person's life.

For now..I am going to face the darkness of another night...and even darker....are the sad eyes of my daughters and husband.

Betsy



I just wanted to say I read this and am so sorry that your world has been turned upside down like this.

Please keep reaching out.

:metoyou:
I am so sorry and I can imagine how you are feeling right now. But it will get better with time. Sending a hug your way if you do not mind. As Sussana has said, keep reaching out
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angelakempe
Jul 08 2013 07:27 PM
It makes me sick that rape keeps happening over and over in this world. I am truly sorry.
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flyingtabby
Jul 10 2013 04:13 PM
I am so sorry. You must be very strong to be able to go to work as a therapist while healing yourself from such a horrible incident. Take care of you.

marianne

October 2014

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Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.