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The Wonderland Years


homeward bound i wish i was.......

Posted by lilyvanilla , 04 June 2016 · 20 views

'‘ya know. he was my home. i felt safe w/ him. [which, is ironic]. and, that doesn’t happen to me a lot so, it meant something and it still does.actually it meant quite a bit. but. just like the immigrants or whoever i gotta find.........someone else that’s home. ‘  '


once told me.........and no. and loyalty. and leos. and......

Posted by lilyvanilla , 03 June 2016 · 28 views

' once again. from my fb:
‘he once told me ‘no. i’m gonna love you so i don’t [have ] to lose you’. well and at the time.........yeah. but guess what. he’s already lost me. i’ma still be here for other people just not him. there’s only so far a leo’s loyalty will stretch. [well or anyone’...


compassion wonderment. and here we are.

Posted by lilyvanilla , 03 June 2016 · 27 views

' and again. from my fb:
‘people might be wondering what happened to my compassion. [or maybe they’re not i don’t know]. well that’s the thing. i’ve had it for him. i’ve been nice.........i’ve been um not nice. no and that’s one of the reasons we were.where we were for so long is bc of that exact thi...


reviews. no not actual ones.

Posted by lilyvanilla , 03 June 2016 · 21 views

' and again. from my fb:
‘reviews. [no not actual ones]. ok there are all these reasons to be er w/ him. like a movie has all these good reviews. and then 1 bad one. [not that i pay attention to reviews ok so..........well that didn’t work well. let’s try this again]. ya know it’s like i have 1,000 to be. but then.......no....



Posted by lilyvanilla , 03 June 2016 · 14 views

'again. from my fb:
‘and so now we wait. well i do. untill fall which is when i’ll talk to him about this. it’s um it’s been an experience. it’s been interesting. ‘  '



Posted by lilyvanilla , 03 June 2016 · 11 views

'no i don’t have any.
from my fb:
‘he’s like a brother to me. he’s the closest person I have to a brother since Pat........well. goes without saying. but if we come back in however long and he’s still the same. well I don’t know if I’d go back or not. I won’t promise anything never do. yes. there are c...


happiness hits her, like a train on a track. coming toward her no turning back.........she hid under water and she hid under stairs

Posted by lilyvanilla , 01 June 2016 · 57 views

'ya know. i almost kindof hate to say it but i’m actually somewhat relieved. that this is happening. it’s been a long time coming. like in a way oh thank god. oh thank god i won’t ‘have’ to deal w/ him anymore. like wow. '


'i'm tired of having a relationship w/ your answering machine!'

Posted by lilyvanilla , 01 June 2016 · 57 views

' well. in the words of ‘friends’. yeah pretty much.
from my fb: ‘yes exactly. or w/ his phone.......or his email. or w/e. i’m not in a relationship w/ someone who has one w/ me. i’m in one w/ someone who doesn’t.’
well...........um yeah. evan. He’s been in and out of detox since jan. and it...


say something i'm giving up on you.

Posted by lilyvanilla , 01 June 2016 · 50 views

evan has. till fall to prove himself to me. and if he doesn’t by then............then. that’s it. for 3 months. which means. he has to come every time i’m at my mom’s. at the park. see me. sure it’s maybe asking a lot. but he hasn’t been there a lot so. see i just want a reaction from him different than the...


one of those women who........

Posted by lilyvanilla , 01 June 2016 · 39 views

'from my fb:
‘i’m one of those women stupid enough to think she can change a man. or that anyone can change him really. ‘
yeah. i’m like oh so since he won’t listen to me maybe he’ll listen tosomeone else and then maybe he’ll change. since i apparently don’t have enough of an impact on him. '

July 2016

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