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The Wonderland Years



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I was betrayed. by my family. [and]. it makes me very sad.

Posted by lilyvanilla , 17 September 2013 · 89 views

wow that seems like a really heavy and big admittance.

which. it is.

though I was this past spring.

[ok so here's the thing: in or der to have betrayed/broken my trust they would've had to have had it to begin w/ which I find. interesting].


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so meanwhile here's what people *aren't*. talking about. *TW*

Posted by lilyvanilla , 17 September 2013 · 90 views

Ok, so.

I finally really get why people seek revenge. I really do.

Um. right. back to point.

As put.

Meanwhile here's what people aren't. talking about myself included: my ex. or, rather, what he did. by which I mean threatening to r*pe me oh and also this coming Nov. referring to me as a 'vindictive little b****'. My parents, sister,...


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more on the lock changing door thing. *TW* 'i got your 6'

Posted by lilyvanilla , 17 September 2013 · 66 views

right. so like I went over in my last entry the next time I get my own place i'm changing the effin locks.

And here's why.

Well, see I keep everything [or at least I *did* before someone took it all away. my mom]. and this meant I kept my empty booze bottles in my room at my place. and so one day my dad who had a key to my place went up there a...


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vitamins. taking them vs. not.taking them. doing it for all the wrong reasons. recovery. *TW*

Posted by lilyvanilla , 17 September 2013 · 57 views

Ok so I've been taking vitamins. er I *was*. zinc, b, osteo biflex, potassium. airborne [ok so that's not really a vitamin], emergen c.

zinc. is amazing. my god when I was taking it that's the best I'd felt in 6 months [for, those unaware I haven't had the best year. what w/ r*pe and alcohol*** and de**h. no you wouldn't/wouldn...


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vitamins. taking them vs. not.taking them. doing it for all the wrong reasons. recovery. *TW*

Posted by lilyvanilla , 17 September 2013 · 50 views

Ok so I've been taking vitamins. er I *was*. zinc, b, osteo biflex, potassium. airborne [ok so that's not really a vitamin], emergen c.

zinc. is amazing. my god when I was taking it that's the best I'd felt in 6 months [for, those unaware I haven't had the best year. what w/ r*pe and alcohol*** and de**h. no you wouldn't/wouldn...


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Pat/Sage. *TW for mention of de*** *. *E*.

Posted by lilyvanilla , 11 September 2013 · 77 views

right so. as mentioned. March 13th my good friend Pat aka Sage.um. 'left', us.


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Hospi*e, grandparents, family history thingy and breakups. *Potential TW*

Posted by lilyvanilla , 11 September 2013 · 56 views

Right, so. last Jan. my dad's mom Carol went into hospice. she's 88 evidently. she had ber 88th July 23rd.

We haven't always had the best relationship. When I was little we were close. But when I was little she was nice to me.

And then I went away to school and then my sister did. um. [When I was 15 I went to boarding school in Vermont for...


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May 22nd would've been 6 months. and it makes me sad. still. *SA*

Posted by lilyvanilla , 11 September 2013 · 56 views

So May 22nd would've been 6 months since the last SA. I had other things going on so I didn't fully acknowledge/realise this which means I didn't do anything for it.

which still makes me sad.


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PTSD, SA, people knowing, Xmas Eve. *no details just feelings and thoughts*

Posted by lilyvanilla , 11 September 2013 · 45 views

As mentioned in my prior entry. Last Dec. 22nd I was SA'ed again.

'no details'. By which I mean none about the SA. so far.

So when I told my friend Gwyn she told me I needed to tell the owner of the bar. I told her in the bar. My friend Kim was there. I don't fully remember but somehow the owner spun it around to make it seem like it was...


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Timeline. thingy. starting last Dec. *TW* for mention of dri***ng, hos**ce, de**h.

Posted by lilyvanilla , 11 September 2013 · 69 views

So last Dec. 22nd, 2 days before Xmas Eve [and I don't like Xmas to begin w/], I was SA'd. again. for the 3rd time. Only 7 people know: my good friends Evan and Pat/Sage. my friends Kim, Joe and Gwyn from the bar. the owner of the bar. and my ex.

I don't know if I should put the details in here yet [or even ever] so I won't. I think every...






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