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'i want you and your beautiful soul'/'it's all coming back to me now'/here's what i remember. *Please Be Careful Reading* ED* *TW*

Posted by lilyvanilla , 04 October 2013 · 59 views

so um yeah.

*Please* Be Careful Reading

So......wow. May 3rd was when I. almost lost my battle.

Here's what I remember [certain things are in asterisks. and the '##' is a 2 digit number. also. for privacy]:

......the blood
......the argument
......his words
......the bathroom
......the ## be****yl
......the hyp******ia
......the rush of poisons
......being in my bed
......crying [evidently I must've been in a lot of pain since I also remember.....]......being upset
........being upset
........being in pain
.....the wine [actually I've had that much wine before and not been that medically fragile]
....my protesting
.....being sick [no actually I think that was one of the very things that saved me]
.....the next morning. and the breakfast.
.....him taking care of me
.....breakfast
.....asking him to sign and date the post-it he wrote on


I guess......I think at some point he must've played [by which I mean looked it up online] 'beautiful soul' since that's what he wrote on the post-it.

my god it was terrible. that is a horrible way to go.

i'm pretty sure the next day was sunny.


I've blogged this. so that. I can start to recover from it. er which I already have physically.



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