how do you get past the fear? *On depression/being creative*
The main reason I hold onto things is bc I can. bc I know what to expect. This is exactly why I don't plan my future bc it terrifies me bc I don't know all the details of it and I don't like that plan [which is exactly why I *should* plan it].
Ya know. ok so I've had depression for 10+ years and PTSD for almost 10 [was diagnosed in college]. I know the details of my depression.
Also it's why I'm such a good writer. not that things wouldn't be interesting if I didn't have it - 'it' being depression - but not *as* interesting. I'd be one of those 'normal' people. by which I mean the 3 out of 4 people who *don't* have a mental disorder.
yeah they say everyone has problems. well yeah but not everyone has *my* problems. PTSD and depression and.........such.
And I'm really damn terrified to lose that part of myself. [well the first thing I 'have' to do is to unconvince myself I'm terrified. sounds like something my friend would say. I mean yeah he's right]. No and really yeah ok it is about state of mind. No I get that. not, like that's always easy to change.
And it's not so much that I er, like. 'want' to change this as it's more that I think it would be good if I did.
I'm not asking this question bc, as said, I 'want' to change [this].
but really. how do you get past the fear?