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PTSD, SA, people knowing, Xmas Eve. *no details just feelings and thoughts*

Posted by lilyvanilla , 11 September 2013 · 81 views

As mentioned in my prior entry. Last Dec. 22nd I was SA'ed again.

'no details'. By which I mean none about the SA. so far.

So when I told my friend Gwyn she told me I needed to tell the owner of the bar. I told her in the bar. My friend Kim was there. I don't fully remember but somehow the owner spun it around to make it seem like it was my fault. [which is why I don't like her. I mean next time I go to the bar if I see her I'll be nice and polite but I'll also keep my distance]. The most she said was "well it's a bad situation" [well no] instead of something like "wow I'm so sorry". [it still doesn't seem real]. My friend Joe had a better reaction than the owner! He was basically the "wow I'm sorry" guy. this isn't all that surprising since he's one of the nicest people I've ever met.

When I told Gwyn she was worried. and caring. But she's also a mom, so.

And the guy who did it made me feel like it was my fault.

Kim's had her share of ab**e too. evidently.

So I told my ex via email. [which isn't how I wanted to tell him. well ok I don't think anyone 'wants' to tell something like that. needed*]. I didn't want to tell him over the phone either. And in the email I told him not to ask questions and that's the 1st thing he does after receiving the news. he asks if I've told the cops [I hadn't. I hadn't the prior times too. either. er. I mean, the past 2 times I've not]. I know my ex was upset and obviously cared about me but. that didn't help. esp. if I've just asked/told him not to do that exact thing.

When I saw my ex I told him the story and how I felt and all. that.

July 2016

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