triggered/scared into silence/shouldn't have to live like this/seen and not heard
See my sister apparently doesn't like the fact that after my laundry's done I put it on the floor [as I don't like it when things hang down it bothers me. and it's too hot to use the dryer]. And so my mom and I were talking about this last night and I told her I'd try [well I mean you either do something or you don't do something] to put my clothes on the line.
Yeah but there's nothing she'll - my sister that is - do. And it's like I'm being controlled by that. [like I should talk about not holding up my end of things]. It's like she's going 'oh well I'm going to control you by telling you what to do'. yeah well when I've been eff*** abused I didn't have control. Another trigger.
I don't wish what'd happened to me had happened to her. oh god no. I just wish her more understanding and I don't know when she'll get that.
I shouldn't have to live like this. As I'm currently living w/ my mom and so's my sister. And they won't let me live elsewheres. I shouldn't have to live w/ this fear.
*So I'm to be seen and not heard is that it? So I'm going to be controlled by that? that's...........wow. I just sent women's lib back however many years. wow thanks really.