1st Entry. **TW**
In other news it's 6 a.m. here [CO] and I've not slept. I don't sleep much these days due to emotional reasons. I'm not sure what to put in here and since I've been emotional as of late I don't want to put something only to have it deleted, so. meaning due to being emotional I wouldn't be thinking clearly enough to um. er. 'edit' myself, as it were.
Um hm. So my current best friend - Evan - phoned yesterday. He got my new # from a mutual friend type - Cathy. I got a call from that # twice before finally answering it. I was confused when I did and then shocked. It was so good to hear from him....you don't even know. /> We'd not talked in like, a month so we were talking over each other. I filled him in on how I'd been doing. It seems like I'm doing better than he is. *But of course I am if I'm living w/ people! He was very happy to hear from me. He's a darling.........very sweet. /> interesting, wild, untame. passionate. emotional. made my freakin day. /> We can't be in contact much via phone due to extenuating circumstances [which I can't go into] and he's having trouble getting into FB on his current phone. so.
Um. So I'm moving again. I recently moved out of the place I'd been living in for the last 4 yrs. and into my parents'. not my decision. /> and then after that I'll move in w/ people who aren't my parents'. As of late I've been trying to figure out a way to phrase the details of everything going on. like, actually articulate them. And also so I don't like, break the rules.
I've not gotten v. far w/ that.
An idea I had is that my sister [she's 23 btw I'm 25. she's moving back from D.C. after being there a v. short period of time] would move into my place. I could see her and come visit which I told her I wanted to do. I just feel like. no one should :trigger:/> ef*** live there /> since that's where 3 incidents of ab*** happened, 2 sexual and 1 verbal [yes my ex still scares :scared: me even though we broke up back in Feb. *More on this in an upcoming entry]. it's a, you know, residual haunting thing. I don't want her or my parents knowing about the other incidents of SA and I hadn't even wanted them knowing about the one of verbal ab**. :tear:/> but more on that later. So that's another reason I want to visit her is to protect her. not that I've seen any of those guys since, as I haven't. but, idinno.
I shot Kate [my sister] an email yesterday a.m. telling her this. I've heard back but not read the email. of course.
So here's what to expect in my upcoming entries: swearing, talk of ab**, alco******, trust, privacy, se*, eating. um. friends, family, relationships, ex's, discoveries. and such.