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radarlove's Blog


Feeling pretty low lately

Posted by radarlove , 21 July 2014 · 170 views

I have no enthusiasm for any of my goals. I'm extremely tired and blank-feeling. I miss writing. I miss feeling motivated.
A quote on Orange is the New Black really resonated with me and how i'm feeling.  The character said "if you aren't building a future it's because you don't believe you have one."
That's how I feel.  I don't s...


Another fling gone by....

Posted by radarlove , 12 July 2014 · 143 views

I sleep with guys too soon.  The 2nd date seems to be the trick with me.  That's how soon I decide.  I meet them.  They are cute, sweet, we have fun, they like me.  Boom, we jump into bed.  (My most recent one lasted one month and two days.  It included 4 dates and one weekend vacation.)
After a few weeks or a cou...


I like him but I can't get intimate

Posted by radarlove , 03 June 2014 · 170 views

My neighbor, who is ten years younger, really likes me.  We hung out last night on a Bates Motel marathon and ended up cuddling.  I know he wants more, but I can't tell if I'm just scared because he's so sweet and not like a lot of other guys I've dated, or if I'm just not attracted enough, but something is holding me back.
He left at lik...



Posted by radarlove , 30 May 2014 · 124 views

I wish I was bursting with energy every day or even just a few days a week.  Instead I feel lethargic and tired all the time.  I have a hard time visualizing myself getting what I want and being successful in my career.
Half the time I don't even know for sure what I want.  I waver between various similar things in creative fields. S...


Not aligned with the universe

Posted by radarlove , 24 May 2014 · 115 views

The past 3 nights in a row I have had guys cancel dates on me!!! THREE NIGHTS IN A ROW.  What is the deal?
I met these guys on what's your price so they were even going to be paying me to meet them, and then each one has a reason....
business trip got extended, "something unexpected came up", and a dead battery in a car.
I try to...


I'm so exhausted

Posted by radarlove , 16 May 2014 · 129 views

I try so hard to stay focused on my goals, which are many, but I lose focus and get off track and start feeling hopeless.
It's hard for me to hold a job or even get one!  I don't know where to work and haven't worked in so many years that it seems like a scary foreign world.  I wish I were brave.
I'm not brave anymore.
I had...


Moving on and staying busy

Posted by radarlove , 19 March 2014 · 137 views

I've found that one of the best ways to move on from some difficult and stressful situation is to be as busy as possible so that you don't even have time to think about it and remember every detail.
I've been doing a pretty good job at that despite not being employed.  Since I've graduated from school I've taken on various non-paid production...


He started out so sweet....

Posted by radarlove , 20 February 2014 · 235 views

I met a guy who was so sweet and I felt so safe and comfortable with him.  But after a while I started feeling like it was only about sex with us.  So I brought up the "what are we doing" talk and he didn't like it.
He got really defensive and angry.  It was weird.  My gut told me to leave, but I didn't.  I stayed and ignor...


Positive Sexual Experiences....

Posted by radarlove , 14 September 2013 · 207 views

Yesterday was sort of a breakthrough.

I fooled around with a new guy without any fear, hesitation or insecurity.

I don't know why I felt so comfortable, when I'm usually incredibly self-conscious and nervous about sex. Maybe it was just the circumstances and the way it unfolded, but it felt amazing to be so confident and to feel so safe wit...


Why is every guy i know a jerk?

Posted by radarlove , 28 July 2013 · 191 views

I talked to my ex on the phone tonight. We've stayed friends over the years and always give each other relationship advice. But tonight I told him about how my close guy friend fondled my butt when we were sleeping next to each other and my ex's reaction was this sarcastic "ooooh oh no, how awful" and then started snickering. WTF?

I go...

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