Another fling gone by....
After a few weeks or a couple of months, it turns out that they aren't right for me or there are other issues and we break up.
I like fucking. I like sex. I don't like a string of short-lived unfulfilling relationships. I get so eager for intimacy sometimes, and for the feeling of having a boyfriend and that romantic experience that I don't wait patiently for someone who is a good match.
If I wait, I don't get the sex and that release. Masturbation is so boring to me. It gets so old. And I try waiting, but that person never comes along. The only upside to waiting is that I avoid the emotional issues that come with ending things.
The last guy I screwed on a second date actually is more right for me than the others, but I thought we would be better as friends and we had even kind of established that in a vague new way. But then one thing led to another and suddenly we're going at it. I think we both regretted it.
Now I'm not sure if we can be friends.
I need to be more patient with sex, but sometimes I just want it. It doesn't help that I just got a job transcribing porn too. It basically consists of writing "oh," "fuck" and "yeah" over and over. Anyway, I don't like porn. It's just a job, but it makes me think about sex more than I'd like to.