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June 18th, 2013

Posted by caitlinchristakos12 , 18 June 2013 · 38 views

At ten o'clock last night I didn't think I would live to see another day. My hope and strength was just not there anymore. I thank my mom who just knew by my facebook status I wasn't having a good day and called me and talked me out of it. I think about it now and I feel silly to think I would take my life away with all these special people in my life to some ass hole who thought it was cool to drug me and rape me. I know that sounds harsh but I've worked my life to have what I have. I'm not even 20 yet and I'm heading into my 3rd year of University for my Fine Arts BA, and I have my own apartment, live 7 hours aways from family and have my own car and is the assistant manager at the most popular Subway of all Southern Ontario. I did this, I did all of that! I know all of that is worth more then that guy who thought he'd get lucky for a night.

This morning I woke up, after knowing what I wanted to do last night I needed a change, 7 months have gone by and I need to live my life, be the CAITLIN CHRISTAKOS I know I can be.

This morning I woke up got on my laptop and started writing......

"October 17th, 2012 was the day my life turned upside down and all around . My shrink tells me it would be good to tell people this . I think ill feel better i know people know and maybe ill start to think people aren't looking at me differently because right now in this place I'm in I feel horrible and awful. I feel so not strong or anything anymore but this is one huge step and i really hope people won't judge because this is my decision and I won't let anyone tell me otherwise ...

October 17th, 2012 I was at a bar called frog and I was drugged. I wish I could say that's all that happened but sadly I went through alot more then just that . I was bruised everywhere hurt everywhere . Looking at my hand and seeing his teeth marks in my hand for the rest of my life just ruins me. This guy took advantage of me in my own locked home where I felt safe and strong and now that's no more. This right here, me writing this is the hardest thing to do. I'm not here writing this to get famous or hope people feel bad for me but to tell everyone things happen to the best people and you just gotta keep going hard till you reach the top. It's been a little bit over 7 months and I'm still healing and need help but I'm here and I can't say anything more of how thankful I am to be here cause deep down I know I should be dead or even worse not in school or have everything I have right now .

I really don't know what else I should say, I feel good to say this and strong to say this .

I love you mom ... So much you are always there for me even when I don't deserve it ... I promise I'm doing better and I'm going to heal I know it."

This was and still is my facebook status. It's such a huge step from only 5-10 people knowing what happened to my whole FB friends. Now after posting it, it's the best thing I've done in the last 7 months. I get to get the help I need from all the wonderful comments and likes I got on the status and not only I got the help I also got to help others out that are dealing with this. I feel accomplished today. Found my real friends and family who are there for me and move on from the people that aren't. After 7 months this is the biggest, bravest thing I've done in my life. And I know that this is going to make me a better person and grow into a young beautiful lady who will hopefully do wonders when I head to my line of work I dream of.

I thank everyone for staying true to themselves and know that someone is there when you think there is nobody.



This was great to read. I am sorry that you were so close there, but so happy that you have a supportive mom and that you are still here. Thank you for sharing this.
You are a very brave young beautiful lady!!!

April 2014

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Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.