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decision made

Posted by bluebutterfly , 10 April 2014 · 119 views

So I've been reflecting for the last couple of days….and have decided that yes, I want to talk directly about the abuse with my therapist.  I do need to revisit the trauma.  When I made that decision, I felt better.  Like I've been fighting and fighting for months and getting pulled deeper into a black pit.  And all my efforts to return to my life are just not working.  So I just surrendered--said that okay, I was going to let the memories come up again.  Some part of me needs to be heard and I will suffer enormously until I let it speak.  
As soon as I felt that surrender, I felt better.  I have that sense of being young--of being nine, the age when the abuse occurred.  I don't really know exactly what she went through, because I don't remember most of the abuse.  But clearly she has more to say.  



Take good care of you.

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yarnfoolishness
Apr 11 2014 01:24 PM

:cuppa:

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bluebutterfly
Apr 11 2014 01:56 PM

Thank you so much bellachai and yarn foolishness.  Support from other survivors means so much to me.  

Many healing thoughts to both of you.  

September 2015

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