still working on depression recovery
I do feel very heartbroken.
I've been off Celexa now for four months and was depression-free for three months before I relapsed. My brain has been so foggy lately
that it's hard to think straight, but I've decided that I'm going to give myself a month to pull out of the depression through natural means. If I haven't recovered by July 31st, I have to call a doctor and go back on medication.
I did immediately feel a burst of motivation when I came up with this plan because I really don't want to go back on medication. My side effects were fatigue, weight gain, and just less vitality and emotion. I gained 30 pounds while taking the medication and in only 4 months off I've already lost 12. But more importantly, I just feel more alive without it. When I'm not depressed, that is.
My brain chemistry might just be very messed up from experiencing such severe trauma during my formative years. I know that many survivors need to be on medication, and I might be one of them. But I've decided it's worth a month. I will follow the program in The Depression Cure and also do other things that I know help with depression. I'll give myself a depression test once a week. If I'm not scoring in the normal range by July 31st, I have to meet with a doctor to talk about medication.
That makes me feel better to have a plan. I'm going to give myself a depression test tomorrow and see where I'm beginning from.