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bluebutterfly's Blog


easing back into life at home

Posted by bluebutterfly , 28 December 2013 · 106 views

Back home.  I feel pretty alone back here--I became very socially isolated in the months that I was depressed.  I knew that my first two weeks back home would be the hardest--once the holidays are over I can make an appointment with the new therapist and also start the process of reconnecting with people.  I'm not contacting my boyfriend--I...


returning home

Posted by bluebutterfly , 26 December 2013 · 106 views

I'm returning home tomorrow morning.  The depression has mostly lifted and I'm feeling much more like myself.  I met twice with my sister's therapist and she was really helpful.  In the first session, I told her I was a survivor of child sexual abuse and she shared with me that she was also a survivor.  Perhaps not everyone would like...


transformational breath work

Posted by bluebutterfly , 23 December 2013 · 133 views

I'm doing better.  The turning point was Saturday--my sister took me to her massage therapist for a transformational breath work session.  I was skeptical but I actually did feel very different after the session--I felt like myself for the first time since May.  I don't feel like I'm out of the woods yet, but I do feel the worst of the depr...


visiting sister

Posted by bluebutterfly , 20 December 2013 · 95 views

I'm visiting my sister for the holidays.  I hoped it would help, though so far I've still been terribly depressed.  I've been on Celexa now for over six weeks and managed to get the dose up to 15mg.  It's hard to believe that as recently as May I was not only depression-free but actually happy.  And I wasn't on antidepressants either....


still battling depression

Posted by bluebutterfly , 08 December 2013 · 137 views

I did make it to the gym and out to dinner with my friends Friday, despite how depressed I was feeling.  And both the workout and meeting my friends did lift my spirits.  However, I've spent most of the weekend in my apartment.  
Going to try again tomorrow to make it to the gym.  Also, my prescription for liquid Celexa will fin...


climbing mountains

Posted by bluebutterfly , 06 December 2013 · 91 views

It's nearly 2pm and I still haven't been able to get out of bed.  I got up, made a cup of tea, and then got right back into bed.  My plan today was to go to the gym and then meet friends for dinner tonight.  That seems the equivalent of climbing several high mountains right now.  
I did go to the gym and meet a friend for dinner...


Celexa a second time

Posted by bluebutterfly , 04 December 2013 · 176 views

I'm seeing my doctor tomorrow--after four weeks on Celexa, I still feel terrible. I don't understand what's going on--it was pretty effective before.  I wish I'd never gone off of it--now being stable and having a reasonably normal life sounds like an impossible dream.  Even though I had that only a few months ago.  The Celexa is making me...

December 2013


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