I've been on a mission. The mission was to find every tiny detail of how my body was harmed. I realized the brain is more complicated than I wanted to admit. I realized that it's not like a broke bone with one simple break that will heal. No the brain has so many layers, areas, neurons, and pathways that abuse can break us in the most shattering ways. The body responds per the "build" and function of the brain, so as symptoms began, I began to try to heal my brain, or change the wiring. The good news is that the brain is an organ capable of certain amounts of healing. The bad news is that some areas in the brain are so deep, healing completely may not be possible. So as my brain and body has gotten off balance once again, I'm finally accepting the fact that I can't heal everything broken, so I need to begin a life of using adaptive means to function. I need to recognize my limitations. I need to build a system for coping. This is a lot of work. The work alone is a mental marathon, not to mention the physical, emotional, and spiritual side effects of the abuse. Adaptation to my disabilites/limitations is extremely frustrating. I've come a long way, and have healed as much as possible for now. I wish our society was more thoughtful and set up to handle the limitations abuse can bring, so that jobs, family, and everyday life would carry some understanding of mental health. If I had of shattered my leg I would have assistance......wheelchair, ramps, people helping me with challenges such as cooking or laundry. But my trauma isn't a leg in a cast. It's closed away behind my skull......A brain that was injured due to the pain.