Jump to content


In dreams

Posted by BEAANS , 18 July 2013 · 107 views

I was in a house with my boyfriend, but it was sort of half a house, and half the campsite where I was raped. We were there to confront whoever did it. It turned out my Boyfriend knew all of them. Because I couldn't identify their faces I made them show me their dicks, whoever had blood on there's must have done it (even though it's been years). Sure enough one of them was covered in blood, and accepted the fact that he was one of my attackers. I went into the house part to sit with him and discuss it. At first it was a very cathartic dream, as he was obviously extremely ashamed. He told me that he didn't know the other people who attacked me, they were strangers to him. I think he said the other four specifically, which was a shock to me. I didn't know how many there were but I didn't think there were five. He said "What, really, you don't remember?". and pointed to a spot on the ground in the campsite. He said "When we were over there it was five of us, and you loved it". Maybe a part of me knows there were five of them?
At this point he moved into the other room and was looking at a mattress. He said "You should see what I have to deal with though". I stood up and walked over to the room he was in to see the sheets on the mattress were covered in blood stains, and in the top corner soaked in blood. I said to him "You don't even understand what I'm left to deal with". At this point it seemed like he was resentful. He said, you should have seen yourself though, staggering around drunk saying (I can't remember what he said, but basically asking for it). To which I said, that's not how I remember it. He said I was very drunk. At this point a girl who was sleeping in the same room asked if he was finished. He said no, sorry, and tore the sheets off the bed.

Then I was at a party. This party was a birthday party for me, one of my best friends from early high-school, and a girl who bullied me when I was in primary school. I didn't throw the party, and only heard about it from a girl who asked me when it was. At the party there was a boy who gave me a drink. It tasted like coke. I was sitting down right next to him, and one of his friends, but not talking to them, I was watching something else. I heard him say "a couple more drinks and I'm in." and then "oh, or did you want it?". At this I turned and said to him "You know, I'm right here. And I'm a person, not a thing, and my name is -----. Thanks for the drink". Which felt soooooooooooooo good.
The next thing I remember was getting my tarot read on the side of a road somewhere. The only actual card I remember getting was the Death card. The others were all made up cards, and I can't remember what they were called. All I remember is being drawn a card that had a picture of a baby cheetah on it, playing. And being drawn a card with a horrifying ghoulish face on it. There was also a mood when this card was drawn over the cheetah, like I was in a film and the soundtrack kicked in.
After this I was in a bus, the bus had stopped to report that there was a lady in the grass on the side of the road who was gesturing towards a huge pumpkin. She was acting as if someone was holding it out for her, and she was accepting it, but no one was there and the pumpkin was just on the ground.
I also remember throughout this dream I kept dropping my glasses. And they were very nice cocktail and champagne glasses, it was as if it didn't matter how tightly I held on to them they'd just slip through my fingers.

July 2016

24 25 2627282930

Recent Entries

Recent Comments

  • Photo
    Lolli - Aug 24 2013 09:02 PM
  • Photo
    BEAANS - Aug 03 2013 10:01 PM
  • Photo
    one.day. - Aug 03 2013 03:41 PM


Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.