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I really don't know.

Posted by TheSilentWanderer , 02 August 2013 · 75 views

I haven't been on this site in a while, and things seem to be looking up,
however, it's like two steps back. I have a new boyfriend now, and he's wonderful,
But I just don't know. Every time we're kissing I freak out and I just can't help it. I'm afraid he'll get tired of the fact what happened and leave me. I'm actually terrified of loosing him. i think back to what happened and i swear it's a tweak in my brain, but. Every time we kiss for long periods of time, no sexual touching what so ever, it's like the one who assaulted me's face pops up and then I shut down. I'm a lot better than I was but I would like to be able to kiss my boyfriend without having to worry about the fact I'll freak out. I'm just tired of it, I just want to move on but like I said, it's 2 steps forward three steps back.



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Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.