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I really don't know.

Posted by TheSilentWanderer , 02 August 2013 · 75 views

I haven't been on this site in a while, and things seem to be looking up,
however, it's like two steps back. I have a new boyfriend now, and he's wonderful,
But I just don't know. Every time we're kissing I freak out and I just can't help it. I'm afraid he'll get tired of the fact what happened and leave me. I'm actually terrified of loosing him. i think back to what happened and i swear it's a tweak in my brain, but. Every time we kiss for long periods of time, no sexual touching what so ever, it's like the one who assaulted me's face pops up and then I shut down. I'm a lot better than I was but I would like to be able to kiss my boyfriend without having to worry about the fact I'll freak out. I'm just tired of it, I just want to move on but like I said, it's 2 steps forward three steps back.

December 2014

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