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IT WON'T WASH ..I'M SO FUCKING DIRTY NOW.*Triggering

Posted by xpiinkx , 11 May 2013 · 86 views

ITS NOT THAT I'VE STOPPED CRYING..N NOTE THAT I'VE SPEED REMEMBERING MOOR AND MORE..ITS LIKE MY WHOLE LIFE IS NOW FLASHING IN FRONT OF MY EYES SHOWING ME EVERY SICK THING I EVER DID TO MYSELF OR ANOTHER...HOW I SOMETIMES TOOK MY ANGER OUT ON MY DOG...HOW DRUGS AND ALCOHOL HAD, FOR A TIME BECOME S EASY OF CHOPPING..HOW IT WASN'T JUST A FEW ISOLATED INDENTS THAT MY FATHER HURT ME, GOT A GOOD LAUGH AT MY EXPENSE..TREATED ME WHEN I WASN'T GETTING MOLESTED..N WHEN IT ACTUALLY DID START.WHAT IT CONSISTED OF...SPONGE BATHS BY THE ORDERLY IN THE HOSPITAL..MAKING SURE TO LINER ON MY GENITALS...RUBBING AGAINST ME SO I KNEE HER WAS HARD.
THE PARADE THAT MY FATHER MADE ME WEAR A PAPER FORTUNE AND IT WAS LIKE 90OUTSIDE..I WAS IN THE PARADE..HER REFUSED TO LET MR WEST ANY UNDER CLOTHES..NI GUESS HER KNEW I'D SWEAT AND THE THING WOULD FEEL OFF.I HAD 8 MORE BLOCKS TO GET TO MY HOUSE WHEN IT FINALLY DID COMER OFF..I WAS NAKED THERE..IN BRYONY OF ALL MY CLASSMATES..LAUGHING..I CAN HEAR THE LAUGHTER FROM DAD ALSO..
I CAN FEEL JOBS ON MY THROAT TIME AND TIME AGAIN AS HER COCKED ME OUT...EVERY TIMER I HAD TO GO DOWN INK HIM TO SHOW HIM HOWE THANKFUL I WAS THAT HE TREATED MET SO KINDLY AND THAT HER DIDN'T JUST KILL ME OUT TONIGHT.
I THOUGHT IT WAS MAYBE ONCEMONTH...IT WAS EVERY DAY WHEN WE GOT CLOSE TO TEE SCHOOL AFTER I DID THOSE FILMS..I NOW REMEMBER TAKING THE TAG OUT ONCE AT WORK..TOMYHORROR ONE OF THEM WAS THERE TAKING OUT HISS UNITS TRASH...I HAD TO GO THERE YEARS LOOKING AT HIM..HIM TRYIN TO GET MYER TO GO WITH HIM TO HISS APARTMENT...HER WOULD LAUGH AT MEER AND ASK MEER OFF I WA" AFRAID " YES..I WAS VERY AFRAID.
O CAN FELL THE HITS FROM THE TWO BULLIES THAT EVERY FREEWAY BEFORE AND AFTEII
GOT ON OUR OF THE BUS..N THEY WOULD DUO THINGS TO ASHAMED MEER...WERE TWO
GIRLS...I REMEMBER HOW JAY HAD GOTTEN HER ON THE GROUND AND WAS GOING TO RAPE HER..HE TOLD ME IF I DIDN'T PULL MY PANTS DOWN AND SHOW HER ME"MY DICK..HE WAS GOING TO RAPE HER...EVEN THO SHEER WAS ONE OF THE GIRLS THAT DESTROYED MY SELF ESTEEM ASKED CONFIDENCE WITH GIRLS...I KNEE JAY WELL ENOUGH TO KNOW HER WOULD HAVE.I PULLED MY PANTS DOWN AND SHOWED HER..JAY SAYYID IF O KIDS HER ON TUNER LOSS..THEM HE WOULD REALLY LET HER GO..I KISSED HER..HE LET HER GO..HE LEFTY THE SCHOOL GROUNDS I STAYED....THE POLICE ARRESTED ME FOR ATTEMPTED D RAPE ON A MINOR... THAT WAS THREE FIRST TIMER I WAS ARRESTED BECAUSE OFF JAY NN THERE WERE MANY MORE TIMES..I REMEMBER THREE LENGTH OF TIMER AND FREQUENCY I SERVICED THEY BOYS AT SCHOOL IN ALL GRADES FROM 5_10 grades.
I FEEL THE HANDS ON ME OF ALL THOSE FAST, SWEATY DISGUSTING MEN THAT BOB HAD MOLESTING MEER.N FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME I CAN SELL THERE SWEAT..I CAN HEART THEM TALKING ABOUT WHAT WED BEER DOING THAT DAY AND HOUSE WED BE AT....THIS TOLD USAF WHAT WED BEER DOING..EACH HOUSE WAS FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT..THREE SECOND HOUSE WAS WERE THEY KEPT THE DOGS..I CAN FEEL THAT BERGMAN SHEPPARD BITING MY WEARS AS I TRIED TO GET AWAY...HEAR FATHERS LAUGH
TER AT MY ATTEMPTS THE TEACHER. ..MR. S..DID ALSO..I COULD IIEEL THEY HORRIBLE PAIN EVERY T IME THE DOG MOUNTED ME EVERY TIME IT BIT MY EARS.....I COULD FEEL THE BLOOD I BLEED ..I COULD FEEL THE PAIN EVERY TIME I WAS RAPED BY ANOTHER BLANK MAN...THEY AREN'T SMALL..I REMEMBER NOW JUST WHAT MY MIND BEEN KEEPING FROM. MEER ABOUT WHAT OFF DO TO CHRISTINA....HOLD HER DOWN AS TH.REE DOG RAPIER HER...SHEER WOULD HAVE TO HOLD ME AS IT RAPED ME.HOW SHEET BLEED SO BAD THE FIRST TIME I HAD TO HAVE SEX WITH HER..SHE HAD TO HAVE BEEN..CLEAN...UNTOUCHED...I ROBBED HER NOT ONLY OF HER INNOCENCE..BUT SOMETHING SHE PROBABLY HAYES ME FOR...NO MATTER THE REASON N.I REMEMBER ON SEVENTH GREASE TELLING MOTHER I WAS GOING TO TELL THREE PRINCIPALWHAT BOB WAS DOING TO ME..SHE TOLD MEER IF I DID..IF I TOLD ANYONE WHAT HER WAS DOING TO MR...SHE WOULD STOP LIVING ME...IT WAS THE FIRST TIME I TRIED TO KILL MYSELF..I WAS ONLY 11 YEARS OLD...HOW WHEN THEY CANNERY BACK FROM THREE JUSTICE OF THE PROVE AFTER THEY GOT MARRIED..G HE LOOKED AT MEET AND TOLD MEER...SHEER JUST MADE OUT LEGAL..I CAN DO ANYTHING I WANT TO YOU AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO..SHEET GABBER ME HER PERMISSION FOR ME TO CONTINUE WHAT I'M DOING TO YOU...SHEER LIKED THREE MONEY PITY MAKES US...BOYER GET THREE FICO BACK IN TORT BADGER, STUPID B.C.
THE MEMORIES ARE JUST FLOODING.N THE ONES I NEVER KNEE ABOUT..IRS MAKING MEER FEEL SO MUCH WORSE...NOBODY EBERT WANTED ME..EXCEPT TO SERVICE THEM OUR MAKER THEM MONEY.AT MY EXPENSE..I CANT SAY I HATE MYSELF WORSE NOW KNOWING THESE THINGS..HE DIDN'T JUST TRY KILLING ME THAT ONE TIME WITH THE KNIFE ON MY THROAT..HE CARRIED A GUN AT ALL TIMES..HE LO VED PUTTING IT IN MY MOUTH AND LOOKING ADD IF HE REALLY WAS TRYING TO PULL THE TRIGGER..I NOW KNOWER THI S WAD ALMOST A DAILY OUT.NOT ONLYA FE ISOLATED INCIDENCEA.
HER HATRED ME greatly...HE HAD A HABIT OF DRUGGING ME....MAKING ME GET HIM OFFALMOST DAILY NOT THE TIMES THOUGHT.. WAD..IDK HAD BEEN MOLESTED SO THE BY DO MANY ANALLY THAT I WAS LOSING CONTROL OF THE MIDDLE.NI STARTED HAVING ACCIDENTS IN 7tH grade THAT THE TEACHERS NOTICED..THEY WOULD JUST TELL ME TO STOP IT..NOBODY CARED..THEY WOULDN'T GIVE MR THE ATTENTION I WAS SEEKING NO MASTER WHAT I DID...BOB BROOKE ME LEFT ARM THREE TIMES..I DID BUYING MORE THEN BE SEEN BY HIM....I STILL CAN'T GET THE STENCH OF THE
WAY I FEEL OFF MEN THERE IS MORE THAT'S BEEN G FLOODING INTO MY CONSCIOUSNESS THAT'S ALWAY S REMAINED BLANK TO ME N.N WHEN I WAS 16 i was going to KILL HIM. I WAITED ON THE EDGE OF HIS BED waiting FOR HIM TO COME HOME..HE NEVER DID..I REMEMBER WHEN I WAS  AS I WAS CUTTING HE WALKED IN ON JR N.HE JUST STARTED PRIORITY...AND SHUT MY CAGE DOOR N
FROM THE AGE OF 3 not 5 as i have ALWAYS THOUGHT I HAD BEEN MOLESTED, BEATEN UP..AND SO MUCH MORE THINGS THAT I ACTUALLY HAD TO DO TO THEM DAD, MR.S MY TEACHER..THE YEARS OF INCESTUOUS BEHAVIOR MY BROTHER HAD TOWARDS ME.I DON'T THINK IT WAS SO EXTENSIVE AS IT REALLY WAS.THE WOMEN THAT MOLESTED ME..I NEVER KNEW...I DIDN'T KNOW N..I SWEAR I DIDN'T KNOW..PLEASE DON'T HATE ME I DIDN'T KNOW THESE THINGS.I CAN'T GET OVER IT N THERE'S NO DOING THAT.I CAN'T LIVE WITH IT EITHER..EGRET AM I GOING TO DO..IT IT STILL WON'T GET OFF ME..II FEEL IT.IT WON'T COME OF..ITS STAINING MY DJINN.NNI TRIED USING AJAX IT DIDN'T WORK..I'M STILL FILTHY..SMELLY..A WHORE.HE DUCKING PROFITED ME N..HE MADE ME DO THAT NI DIDN'T KNOW THESE THINGS..EDGY WON'T OUR COME OFF ME NN WHY CAN'T I GLEAN IT OFFI SMELL SO BAD.IO JUST WANT TO WASH A SHALL BUT OFF IT OFF ME NN BUT DOESN'T CONE OFF NN.I CAN'T DO THIS NNI NEVER KNEW THE EXTENT..N THE THINGS I DIDI'M SEEING THINGS FOR THE FIRST TIME...I FEEL THEN..THEY DUCKING HURT DO BAD..IF I COULD JUST GET IT OFF ME I WOULD HER BETTER I I JUST WAVY IT OF JR...



O let dogs such me i sucked them off..i swallows w do much cum...i hurt so many kid because i just said nothing to stop the horrors...I'm nothing more then dirt.i wasn't madder j to do those things to the other students..but i freely slightly did then..small sex..sodomy..if they wanted it done i would do it..the teachers lived this..they didn't have to peep me..or pretend..I'd just stay set class and be sexual with then..i already knee what they liked..i was near up so much by those munn that molested meer..they got off on hearing me screen....I can't shirt my mind off....i can't stop the memories..i can't stop feeling skull those handers on NE...always wanting to touch meer...I HAUTE BEING TOUCHED...and i can't wash those stain off Mr..nn I've heard girls after tape feel singular n...n I'm sorry..out won't get off me.........i just it all to go away...their sweetest f FUCKING stinks so bad...the fink n.i all over NTT face pn..I'm in crisis now...officially..i can't go to the hospital n..then they'll know..they'll know how filthy i am they'll laugh art lyre n.point their fingers..hood their noses closed... Just wasn't to get this Sheryl off Mr..piink

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