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Purpose in life

Posted by dancinginpain2 , 26 April 2013 · 46 views

**** may trigger***
I just recently came back to Pandy's after about a two year hiatus. I went through so much and hit bottom. I got and lost a job and place i loved, got arrested and dealt with legal issues, had to get an abortion, and put myself in a situation to get hurt again, all while struggling with a stubborn addiction, and with no family or support group whatsoever. I decided to leave the place i was living and come back home to get on my feet. After everything I've been through, and 6 months sober, I finally have seen my purpose in life. I'm going to open my own healing center for women. So many times I wished I'd had a place to go, a place that embodies the spirit of healing on all levels, someone to understand, a getaway when i needed love and support, a support group and resources, etc, and never found it. Everything I've been through was for a reason. I believe that strongly, finally. I don't feel guilty anymore, and I realize where blame belongs. But i don't want to blame anyone. I want to heal, and help heal others on every level. I do still have anger and bitterness, and PTSD rears its ugly head at the most inopportune times.. But forgiveness and letting go are close. Maybe it really is darkest before the dawn.
I'm thankful for the gift of life. Many wouldn't have and don't survive. Survivors have a duty, i think, to heal and reach back for those afraid to fly. Everyone deserves to heal, i know that now, even me. I am still struggling with daily life though, seeing as my whole life in every way has been affected. I still have healing to do, and i need help to further my goals. So i came back to Pandy's in the hope that active participation will help me on my search for wings....

April 2016

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