One Day at a Time
Right now I do not want people censoring my thoughts or my recovery. Yes I wish I could forget but when it gets quite that is where my mind goes. I wish I could come out to my family, but I am scared and really do not want to deal with what will come with it. I always think of myself as chicken. When I see other victims of abuse who are now survivors working to help others. Who are free to be out and speak. Right now my voice is anonymous. On the plus side it does give me a format to speak finally. Maybe someone somewhere will use my story and help others.
What is weird the past couple of months I have felt this passion to help others. I do know that before I can help others, I need to heal myself. I try to be positive and think of positive thoughts. It is crazy but my mantra is ONE DAY AT A TIME. For now that is all I can give, I cannot give more then that Hell it is something.
Now that school is over with I am searching for things to keep myself busy. Try to follow where this passion or burning in me is going. I have a good friend helping with my writing skills. Catching up on my reading and thinking about volunteering at our local YWCA to help other abused women. Of course still continue therapy. I want to heal and I want to not be the victim anymore. No shame or pity just breathing and living.
Today my five things I am grateful for are 1. family 2.good friends 3. beautiful weather 4. tomorrow and 5. surviving.