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Forever in the Past

Posted by mion_xilolo , 19 May 2013 · 34 views

There are thing that bother me daily but they are things that have happened in the past and no one wants to hear about them. Ive done things Im really not proud of, like I slept with my step brother, I slept with my band teacher. And I wish I could take it all back but its forever there and will always be there.

How dose one talk about that kinda thing. I hate myself for being so easy, for giving myself to who ever wanted it. Thinking that I need it. putting myself in bad places for drugs. Sleeping with who ever would give me what I wanted. Drugs controlled me, owned me consumed me.

Im older now and I have a family a husband and a little girl that calls me mommy. What do I do with my past. I was never the same after the rape. I was a different person. I wish I could be the person i was ment to be, not the slut, not the whore. I love my life now but trying to fight over the past is killing me slowly.



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Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.