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It's Not Fair.

Posted by lotus~flower , 02 March 2014 · 115 views

It's not fair that while walking downtown, in a completely public area, I still have to be cautious or frightened about the people walking by me. 
Furthermore...it's not fair to the males who walk by be for me to judge them and automatically ready my pepper spray for if they put a hand on me...just because they're bigger than I am.
I wi...


Ending Winter Break

Posted by lotus~flower , 06 January 2014 · 204 views

I've had a pretty great winter break...I get to see my bf everyday...things have been going great with my family...I haven't had any encounters with the boys who r*ped me. Unfortunately, the end of the break is proving to be pretty stressful, which I really don't need considering going back to school is going to be stressful enough. 


Mistakes--and moving past them

Posted by lotus~flower , 04 January 2014 · 195 views

Today was full of mistakes.
First, my boyfriend was supposed to go on a trip to Belize with his parents but found out his passport expired.
Then I missed some easy shots and got a technical called on me during our basketball game--which we lost.

Both of these problems made the day pretty stressful for me...so I need to take a second and look on the po...


New Years

Posted by lotus~flower , in Uncategorized, My Life 02 January 2014 · 133 views

I've never really done New Year resolutions with any type of seriousness, but this year I feel that there are some constructive things that I need to do.
My first resolution is to be patient. I've found myself snapping at my boyfriend and family more and more recently and it's really not fair to them. I need to remind myself to be patient in situat...


A beautiful poem

Posted by lotus~flower , in Poems 31 December 2013 · 179 views

A beautiful poem I saw this poem on my twitter feed the other day and it's stuck with me so I thought I'd share. It's hauntingly beautiful in the best of ways.



Posted by lotus~flower , 21 December 2013 · 136 views

I'm very proud of myself today because I realized that I'm finding autonomy outside of my relationship with Tate.
As of now things are up in the air because he doesn't know if he can be happy/his best self in the situation (long distance relationship) that we are in right now.
During my T session today I talked about how,even though I realllllly don't wan...



Posted by lotus~flower , in My Life 18 December 2013 · 215 views

Wow, ok. So a lot has being going on in my life and I feel like I really need to write about some things to help me figure stuff out (and hopefully get some advice too).
My Relationship
I've been dating a guy, that I love very much, for over two years now. One of those years has been long distance because he's in college and I'm still in...


Social Anxiety

Posted by lotus~flower , 30 July 2013 · 175 views

I've recently realized something about myself that I don't know if I really want to have recognized in myself.

I know that after my r*** my social anxiety has been higher than it usually was, but I'm really feeling lonely in a different way right now. My lack of interest/drive to really become friends with people is very low right now and I...


Wendy Davis and other awesomeness

Posted by lotus~flower , 26 June 2013 · 165 views

I'm just so excited right now and I need someplace to share all of it!

So Wendy Davis' filibuster was successful (yay women's rights!) AND today Prop 8 and Doma were killed! (yay human rights!)

So yeah I'm now filled with the burning energy of feminism and am ready to take down the Patriarchy single handedly ;)



Modern Comedies

Posted by lotus~flower , 25 June 2013 · 163 views

The other night I went with my boyfriend and his family to This is the End. I didn't look up any trigger warnings for it...which in light of the last comedy I went to see in theaters (Wonderstone something or other) I really should have. The thing about comedies that I'm beginning to notice is that they're generally funny until they take it wa...

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