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Posted by lotus~flower , 21 December 2013 · 73 views

I'm very proud of myself today because I realized that I'm finding autonomy outside of my relationship with Tate.
As of now things are up in the air because he doesn't know if he can be happy/his best self in the situation (long distance relationship) that we are in right now.
During my T session today I talked about how,even though I realllllly don't want this and this would definitely be the worst case scenario, if Tate should decide that ending the relationship is the best action to take, I would be OK.
Last year, as I was exploring how to heal after my SA, I was very dependent on Tate helping me through panic attacks, anxiety, flashbacks, and even simple day-to-day activities. 
This year I feel like I've really found myself in a place where I am stronger than I have ever been, and more independent than I could ever have imagined myself. 
I am continually finding myself in a place where I am able to balance what I know is going to make me happiest and what I believe is best for our relationship. This also means that I'm in a place where I feel like I won't completely implode if my relationship ends. 
I definitely don't want to break up--as cheesy as it sounds I truly feel that we are meant to be--but I've laid out what I feel like I need to say, and I know that I can be strong through this. 

July 2014

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