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Juliet's Hope



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Amazing Johnny the Monster

Posted by Julie.T , 19 April 2013 · 25 views

<Trigger Warning>


I already had been reluctant to be intimate with him for months, but now I couldn’t bear the thought of being intimate with him. It didn’t matter. Every night he was taking Xanax and drinking. He told me that when he signed our marriage papers, it meant he could only have sex with me. He also told me over and over again that I...


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Amazing Johnny the Drug Addict

Posted by Julie.T , 19 April 2013 · 33 views

I was angry at the affair, but I was so ashamed at how he was treating me. I hid it from everyone. And I had begun to fear him. Johnny began to add prescription pain killers to the mix of alcohol and Xanax. His behavior spiraled out of control. He made me jump through hoops just to control me, saying it would make him happy. He would insist I plan outing...


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Difficult Lesson to Learn the Hard Way

Posted by Julie.T , 19 April 2013 · 16 views

We spent months hashing through the damage he had done to our marriage in marriage counseling, but he absolutely refused to take any responsibility for his actions. The most he admitted—after hours of working with the marriage counselor-- was that “Paula may have crossed a line… ”. What a gentleman. He said that since his penis did not enter her slit, it...


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The Truth About Our Children

Posted by Julie.T , 19 April 2013 · 16 views

Needless to say, Amazing Johnny and Paula ignored their spouses’ requests once again. Later Paula emailed Johnny a picture of her wearing just a black bra saying she wanted him to see her new tattoo which was on her side. Livid when I found the picture on his phone, I demanded that he actually and immediately stop communicating with her in any way if he...


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Amazing Johnny Discovers Xanax and Lack of Control!

Posted by Julie.T , 19 April 2013 · 21 views

During this time, Johnny had taken up boxing as a hobby. He had some mild injury, and went to the doctor to get it checked out. I don’t know what was said at this appointment, but he came home with a prescription for Xanax. It wasn’t long before he was mixing the Xanax with his new found love of alcohol. He usually waited after the work day was over befo...


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The Amazing Johnny

Posted by Julie.T , 19 April 2013 · 14 views

Two months later, he had all the loose ends completed at the office and was ready to move into the house. I, of course, had to take a few days off of my new job to fly to DC and arrange the final leg of the move. After all, Johnny could not be bothered with a lowly task such as moving. (And this coming from the guy who used to sweep floors at a fast food...


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Oh God, what have I done?

Posted by Julie.T , 19 April 2013 · 14 views

And then we moved. He was 28. We had a week in between my two jobs to go house hunting. Our very first house! The house we would raise our children in and grow old together in! We had spent years saving for the down payment. We were married in a courthouse, the “reception” was simply having lunch at TGI Fridays with three family members, no honey...


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Widowed Even Though He’s Still Alive

Posted by Julie.T , 19 April 2013 · 15 views

Then nine years into the relationship, something inside him broke. Maybe this evil inside him was always there and he was just holding back? Maybe something snapped and he can never go back to the decent human he was when he was younger? I don’t know. I’m not trying to make excuses for him. It’s just the only way I can explain it. This marks the last tim...


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Oedipus, anyone?

Posted by Julie.T , 19 April 2013 · 14 views

Slowly the marriage evolved from a slightly unequal partnership to almost a mother-son relationship. I am only two years older than him, but he couldn’t be bothered to contribute at all to the relationship. We never celebrated our wedding anniversary—he was always on a work trip. And it didn’t occur to him to celebrate it before or after. I spent my 30th...


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The beginning...

Posted by Julie.T , 19 April 2013 · 15 views

If I learned anything growing up, my mom was determined that those lessons would be 1) you can achieve anything if you work hard enough and 2) never allow yourself to be financially dependent on a man. Ironically, #1 kept me in an abusive marriage for longer than I should have stayed and #2 saved me once I escaped. I think the time involved in my marriag...





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