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I wake up and I am laid across the kitchen floor. The carpet making my back itch. The material on the burns. They stand over me kicking me and eating. They each take their turn not waiting for the last one to finish before the next one starts. Each one wanting to cause more pain that the last. One brought some rusty old sheep shearers in to rape me with. My mum watches. she holds some of the 'equiptment'. My dad goes last. So he can screw me up the worst. He is dissappointed that i am in and out of conciousness. I am pathetic. Cant take it. He spits on me and leaves. I am a wimp. My mums friend comes over. Someone to take the pain away. She is a gyn nurse at the local hospital. She stitches some of me up. Makes sure I wont bleed to death and chucks me out.
I scream so loud, but no one is listening. No one takes the pain away. Let it carry on. Who cares?! The torment, the pain. The way they finally let you believe they will let you die to bring you back into reality and laugh at the dissappointment on your face. I can feel the punches he threw. I can feel the weapons he used. Raining down on me. the way he tried to get me to understand it.
I do understand. I understand that I am dirty and some of the things he did was to make me a better person. I needed punishment and to be taught right from wrong. I am dirty, tarnished, horrible. I deserve to dance on tables and let perverts and rapists watch me. I deserve to have to give them treats for tips for my manager. I deserve to make them 'friends'. Because I am a dirty whore. This is all my punishment because I am still a bad person. Still need controlling and stamping down. Still not deserving to live.
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