Pandora's Aquarium: Why cant you hear me? - Pandora's Aquarium

I scream, and scream so loud. My lungs are bursting. Why cant you hear me. Please? What do I have to do to make you listen. How loud will I go, what ever I do will you ever hear me? She cant even look at me. Look me in the eye. She listens but doesnt hear. They carry me off, her watching silently following. Her friends arm around her shoulder. I kick, squirm, shout, yell but who can hear that would help. A noose is hanging from the barn roof. I am positioned into it. They tighten it so i can touch the floor on my tiptoes. My arms above my head trying to pull the rope down. pulling. The room is dark but you can make out the women from the men. They take something off the wall and run it down my back ripping my clothes. they laugh as i struggle. The noose tightens as I try to move away, have to keep still. A sharp pain start stinging across my back. More. I hear the slash of a whip through the air. It knocks the air out of my lungs. I cant move. something is moving down my back. liquid. It continues them taking it in turns to whip me. The floor starts to get wet below with blood and makes it slippery. I am struggling to stand up and keep the noose loose but they are continuing. i slip.

I wake up and I am laid across the kitchen floor. The carpet making my back itch. The material on the burns. They stand over me kicking me and eating. They each take their turn not waiting for the last one to finish before the next one starts. Each one wanting to cause more pain that the last. One brought some rusty old sheep shearers in to rape me with. My mum watches. she holds some of the 'equiptment'. My dad goes last. So he can screw me up the worst. He is dissappointed that i am in and out of conciousness. I am pathetic. Cant take it. He spits on me and leaves. I am a wimp. My mums friend comes over. Someone to take the pain away. She is a gyn nurse at the local hospital. She stitches some of me up. Makes sure I wont bleed to death and chucks me out.

I scream so loud, but no one is listening. No one takes the pain away. Let it carry on. Who cares?! The torment, the pain. The way they finally let you believe they will let you die to bring you back into reality and laugh at the dissappointment on your face. I can feel the punches he threw. I can feel the weapons he used. Raining down on me. the way he tried to get me to understand it.

I do understand. I understand that I am dirty and some of the things he did was to make me a better person. I needed punishment and to be taught right from wrong. I am dirty, tarnished, horrible. I deserve to dance on tables and let perverts and rapists watch me. I deserve to have to give them treats for tips for my manager. I deserve to make them 'friends'. Because I am a dirty whore. This is all my punishment because I am still a bad person. Still need controlling and stamping down. Still not deserving to live.