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Karolina, Claire22 and GracefullyGrowing and 1 other like this

A whole new world

08 May 2011
Posted by Claire22  
I stare out into this world behind glass. Everything has beauty, everything is calm. It all falls into place, so quiet, so peaceful. Little things struggling for survival that you cant see or comprehend. Each flower growing higher, to fight off the competition, each animal trying to do better than another. Why does it look so beautiful, if...
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Floating

20 March 2011
Posted by Claire22  
I miss just sitting with you, not saying much but having you there. I miss your touch, and the coldness of your hands, that always shocked me. Your skin was thin and soft. It felt like you could break, you were so fragile. I miss having someone to talk to. I wish I was a part of something not an individual being floating around on my own. I want...
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Future

31 October 2010
Posted by Claire22  
I have come to realise that my dad is just not worth thinking about. I do not call him dad any more but his name (M) if I have to make any reference to him. I do not want anything to do with him. These last few months through what he has done and talking to different people I have realised he will never change and be the father that I need. He...
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Kicked

30 October 2010
Posted by Claire22  
Once I clung to your every word, I allowed you to consume me, to own me, to control me. I wished for you to change, to love me back, to be able to be my father. But you are unable to. You didnt have it in you, to actually love and care for someone unconditionally. To allow them the freedom to grow and change. You wanted to contain them, to keep...
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?

23 November 2009
Posted by Claire22  
You idiot

You stupid fucking little idiot

One day, thats all it took. 24 hours of triggers and you end in the pit again. Why? Why did I do it? How could I be so stupid. Im suppose to be going forward. It was going so well. What an idiot. Why have I done it? I could of fought, I didnt even try. Why bother doing all this work just to fail and let...
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Love me

30 October 2009
Posted by Claire22  
There is no one, there is no where you would rather be than curled up there. In those safe arms. The chest that is so strong but soft. Enveloping around you. Taking in your whole. Letting you curl into a ball and know you are protected. To let them hold you and cry. Dont ask any questions, just let you be safe and cry. Knowing that they will hold...
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Doctor

07 October 2009
Posted by Claire22  
13 or 14 years old.

My dad didnt like me. He didnt like that my body was changing. He said I was ugly, and greasy becuase I had spots. I was disgusting and horrible. He wanted a child, he didnt want what i was becoming. He told me we had to go to the doctors me and him to get something to help. He could give me something to get rid of everything...
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Your shame

21 May 2009
Posted by Claire22  
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Why cant you hear me?

19 May 2009
Posted by Claire22  
I scream, and scream so loud. My lungs are bursting. Why cant you hear me. Please? What do I have to do to make you listen. How loud will I go, what ever I do will you ever hear me? She cant even look at me. Look me in the eye. She listens but doesnt hear. They carry me off, her watching silently following. Her friends arm around her shoulder. I...
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younger self

19 May 2009
Posted by Claire22  
There is this unimaginable feeling of dirt. Its gross and disgusting. Are normal people like this? Does it happen to them? I wanted to know if i was normal but knew deep down this isnt right, that I would make mummy angry if I said anything. I have to get rid of it somehow. It is still there I can feel it. Dirty. I am panicking because I dont know...
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Karolina, Claire22 and GracefullyGrowing and 1 other like this

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