Jump to content






Photo

Something strange

Posted by LikeCharlotte , 04 April 2013 · 16 views

I'll keep this short. First I was picking, unconciously for a few days, then apparently I've been having nightmares all week. I usually remember them but I only remember a small flash of one. My one eyelid has been twitching for 5 days, possibly from lack of sleep but I don't recall being awake. At some point last night I started feeling distant and numb and then today I keep "seeing monsters", which means that I know I am looking at perfectly normal animals, people or signs but hey seem morphed into evil creatures. No matter how hard I look, its a freaky thing. Ishappened about 5-6 times today with various photos and logos. Now I am irritable.

Thing is, I've never hallucinated while awake and sober but I've had what I call 'visons'. Nothing religious, just sort of visual 'ah-ha' moments the way a musician will hear a song. I have spells where I have nightmares and vivid dreams, I also pick but never to the point of serious self-injury. I've never had what one would call appropriate emotional response. Logically this scares the bejezzus out of me but instead of doing whatever scared people do, I'm cranky and being curt/jumpy. What the heck?!?
help? Maybe I'll post this in the forums.

UPDATE: Woke up around 4am crying. I think it was a nightmare but I am unsure. I felt very nervous and cried for awhile. I was glad to no longer feel numb. Once I was fully awake I was crying about how abnormal and rejected I have sometimes felt and how frustrating it has been. I don't want attention or affection more often than not but it seems that when I have I not only handle it all wrong and am overstimulated, I am rejected. It is a horrible catch .22.
I do not know if this was part of my nightmare or not, but it was soothing to cry.
I am very tired and my eye is still twitching however things look as they should today. No monsters, so far.



July 2014

S M T W T F S
  12345
6789101112
13141516171819
2021222324 25 26
2728293031  

Recent Entries

Recent Comments

Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.