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Something strange

Posted by LikeCharlotte , 04 April 2013 · 33 views

I'll keep this short. First I was picking, unconciously for a few days, then apparently I've been having nightmares all week. I usually remember them but I only remember a small flash of one. My one eyelid has been twitching for 5 days, possibly from lack of sleep but I don't recall being awake. At some point last night I started feeling distant and numb and then today I keep "seeing monsters", which means that I know I am looking at perfectly normal animals, people or signs but hey seem morphed into evil creatures. No matter how hard I look, its a freaky thing. Ishappened about 5-6 times today with various photos and logos. Now I am irritable.

Thing is, I've never hallucinated while awake and sober but I've had what I call 'visons'. Nothing religious, just sort of visual 'ah-ha' moments the way a musician will hear a song. I have spells where I have nightmares and vivid dreams, I also pick but never to the point of serious self-injury. I've never had what one would call appropriate emotional response. Logically this scares the bejezzus out of me but instead of doing whatever scared people do, I'm cranky and being curt/jumpy. What the heck?!?
help? Maybe I'll post this in the forums.

UPDATE: Woke up around 4am crying. I think it was a nightmare but I am unsure. I felt very nervous and cried for awhile. I was glad to no longer feel numb. Once I was fully awake I was crying about how abnormal and rejected I have sometimes felt and how frustrating it has been. I don't want attention or affection more often than not but it seems that when I have I not only handle it all wrong and am overstimulated, I am rejected. It is a horrible catch .22.
I do not know if this was part of my nightmare or not, but it was soothing to cry.
I am very tired and my eye is still twitching however things look as they should today. No monsters, so far.

June 2016

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