I think it has to do with the fact that I havenít seen my T for two months or so and then suddenly I had an appointment. I just cried and yelled that day. I think it because she made me realize so many things and it made me SO angry that mom was the reason of it all and she is STILL doing it! Sub-consciously though, but STILL. It hurts like you wouldnít believe. They all expressed sorrow to me but mom says Iím delusional. OKAY MOM.
This week has been mushy for me. I canít say the word love without tearing or see romantic movies or anything of love. Mom never taught me to love, actually both my parents. The lack of feeling of that just tears me apart. I just envy people who love or are loved by their family. I die a little.
I havenít been this depressed since January. And January wasnít this bad! It was just a lot of crying and hurting my self but this time its ALL rage and staggering agony of realization.
Itís just a period Iíll pass through.. if God is willing