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Slipped back !

Posted by journey29 , 29 March 2013 · 19 views

Well I had a great 2 weeks of being at peace and somehow I thought I could conquer the world and to the back of my mind I just new it was too good to be true, something wasn't feeling right, I know that I was going to slip up somehow and revert to my dark place. Now I feel so stupid for even trying to be at peace cause its always a constant struggle day by day to not go back to that place, but lets face it, am here again over and over no matter how much times I FUCKING try to get out of this depression I always end up in the same place I started. Its like taking 2 steps forward and shit happens and am knocked back 5 steps :bawling: am just doomed to this life of misery :angry:

Had a good cry tonight, haven't cried like that in a while, I guess its good to let it out sometimes, I sat in my room today all day without eating and was triggered by clearing away some clutter and saw a huge part of my past where I started the downhill fall, even though I've achieved so much in life, it doesn't matter to me, I simply don't care I really don't FUCKING care about all this.
ALL I WANT IS TO BE HAPPY AND NOT HAVE TO LIVE A DAY WHERE I HAVE TO LITERALLY CONVINCE MYSELF THAT LIVING IS A GOOD THING....... :bawling:



Please talk to someone. There can be a life but you need a helping hand, ear and guidance. I am about to receive psychodynamic therapy. There are people to help but the biggest step is to make the first move. I hope you find peace. Xxx

November 2014

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