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That Last Molecule of Hope

Posted by Falula , in hopelessness, hope, suicide, depression 21 February 2013 · 109 views

I have so much boiling and brewing in me. Thoughts coming and going from every direction. Two polar opposite forces within me: suicide and "I don't want to be 'here'" and somewhere somehow despite everthying an ounce....no....a molecule of "hope" that pushes me to continue my seeming unrelenting pursuit of that ever elusive "something better".

Very much like that classic joke...

What's the difference between an optimist and a pessimist? A pessimist is someone who gets a new bike for their birthday, and looks at it, and says, "Well, it's nice, but I don't want to ride it. It will get all scratched and dirty and it might get stolen, and besides, it's not the color I want."

An optimist is someone who gets a pile of shit for their birthday and immediately dives in and starts digging. When asked why, they say, "With all this shit around, there has to be a pony in here somewhere!"

The ironic thing is I'm a died-in-the-wool pessimist. Why don't I just let go of that molecule?

I don't know, but I'm glad you don't. We all need hope, no matter how miniscule. Best wishes to you!

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