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Falula's Random Stuff


Insidious Depression

Posted by Falula , 05 November 2015 · 85 views

In hind sight I realize I've been depressed most of my life, including most of my childhood.  I've been treated for depression most of my adult life.  I've been on disability for "major depression" for the last few years.
The insidious nature of depression causes me to see most everything through "gray sky" glasses instead of the proverbi...


Making Amends To The Person Who Molested Me

Posted by Falula , 25 April 2013 · 518 views

Background …

I have a friend I'll call Bob, who is very confrontational and I found myself getting angry with him quite often in our conversations. I told him about my feelings of anger and he said it was because he didn't pat me on the back and say "poor Janice" like everyone else does. This made me still more angry.

We have both bee...


Survivors of Incest Anonymous

Posted by Falula , 22 April 2013 · 132 views

Survivors of Incest Anonymous



Posted by Falula , in suicide, depression 08 April 2013 · 149 views

About amonth ago I was pretty much suicidal. I was planning my death. On my list was todo my funeral arrangements and buy my cemetery plot. I was really, really depressed. I was feeling pain so deep that the only thing that gave me any comfort was the thought of ending my life. I even asked a close loved one if he would understand if I took my life g...


Decision-making is Still a Work in Progress for Teenagers

Posted by Falula , 26 March 2013 · 208 views

I found this interesting article written by Gargi Talukder | July 20, 2000 on Brain Connection which relates to the forum post Do you feel/believe you were complicit in your abuse? ...

Recent studies of brain development in teenagers may finally give parents the scientific authority to say "No you're not!" in answer to the common ado...


My Story

Posted by Falula , 12 March 2013 · 257 views

Last updated 7/2/2015

Up to 20 years old…
My parents divorced when I was four and a half due to an alcoholic father. He left around that time disappearing after 10 years , coming back in time for my 15th birthday. My mother resented me for being born and "ruining her life." Of course, I understand it wasn't my fault, but the lack of love on her p...


My Art 2013-03-11

Posted by Falula , 11 March 2013 · 151 views



Posted by Falula , 07 March 2013 · 63 views

Come and lay with me, my love
In your tender arms
Waiting for "sleep"
Drifting off to nothingness forever
What bliss! What nirvana!

It's in my veins
Oh, what peace!

No more pain
No more thoughts
No more hopes

What bliss! What nirvana!

It's in my veins
Oh, what peace!

No more reflection
No more anal...



Posted by Falula , 27 February 2013 · 53 views

Whew! I spent a day and night with my special someone. We rarely get opportunity to do that. It was awesome! I say again, it was awesome to spend time with him.

I did learn something though. I realized my recent week-long binge on Pandy's got my mind racing at a fevered pitch. He and I made an agreement that I initiated. He wouldn't talk...


First Letter from Chuck - 1987-03-17

Posted by Falula , 25 February 2013 · 68 views



3:08 pm

Transcription of the following scanned letter:

Letter from my mom's boyfriend of decades and the person who molested me…


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