Pandora's Aquarium: Weight related issues - Pandora's Aquarium

You know what's coming. Read at your own risk.

Weight Issues

I was always chubby growing up. I know we are not supposed to put numbers here, but I was about 5’1 when I stopped growing and probably in like 8th grade, maybe? I don’t remember. Anyway, I was the chubby, quiet, nerdy girl all the way up till about soph/jr year of high school. The summer between sophomore and Jr. year, I went on a trip to Russia. It was a national student exchange program that sent hundreds of kids (thousands?) every summer to different countries. I was always interested in NASA and our space camp, so I picked the Soviet version of space camp as my location. (Yes, Soviet. This was the summer of 1989, right before the Berlin Wall came down.) So, their space camp was located in Siberia, no joke! It was the most interesting 6 weeks of my life!

I was always a very picky eater, and being in a foreign country didn't help, so I had lost a bunch of weight. When I came back to school the following fall, I was suddenly very popular with the nerdy boys I had previously hung out with as just friends the year before. I got my first boyfriend that year. My first kiss. Second base, even! I was happy.

Fast forward to sophomore year of college when my R happened. Go back and read about it if you want. I’ll wait…

Ok, so after that, I started to binge eat like it was going out of style. My weight DOUBLED in less than 5 years after that incident. And on a 5’0 -5’1 frame, that was not healthy or desirable. And I think I knew I was doing it deliberately to make myself unattractive to men (and women apparently, too). I would eat whole pizzas in one sitting. Six loaded baked potatoes at once. Whole boxes and bags of whatever. I was in dental school at the time before I finally got help for it. I only got therapy for the depression and the eating disorder, not the R. I hadn't ever mentioned the R before. I still haven’t had therapy for the R. I am just now realizing how everything goes back to that incident.

So anyway, I had to drop out of dental school b/c going to therapy 5 days a week doesn't leave much time or energy for school. Officially I took a leave of absence for a year, but I just never went back. I went from being number one in my class first year, to dropping out and never coming back after year #2. I did go back to school to get my masters in science education and became a chemistry teacher. But that hasn't really panned out either. Turns out I really don’t like speaking in front of large crowds and I hate kids. LOL! But I muddled through 10 years of teaching before I got laid off.

Back to the eating thing. So I am totally unhealthy at this point. Not doing any exercise, just eating, eating, eating. I topped out at double my high school weight plus another 15-20 or so for good measure. I was that way for a while. That made my dating life practically non-existent. I did manage to find a female partner in 2002 and we have been together for 10 years now. About 2 years ago, I decided I was sick of not being able to run around after my nieces and nephews. I also knew I wanted to see them grow up and have kids, blah, blah, blah. So I shaped up, started doing Pilates, and turned to juicing. (See ‘Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead’ for my inspiration! The program works!!) I lost a bunch of weight and have been able to keep it off for the past 1.5 years or so. Going vegan/vegetarian was the best thing I have done for myself. It’s not an easy lifestyle to follow, but my family and friends have seen my results and really don’t give me any crap about it anymore. At first they were all incredulous that all I did was drink fruit and veggies juices. But now of course, everyone wants to know my secret. It’s no secret, but they just can’t fathom no meat and no bread. (I am still working on the no dairy, but I cheat every now and then. I just can’t say no to cheese!)

I recently took up jogging. I had never run EVER in my life!! I got Cs in gym because I could never run that one mile test you had to do. I hated dressing for gym too and getting sweaty. Now I love it! If my HS gym teacher could see me now! My health is the one thing that I feel good about. 40 really is the new 30 for me. I am in the best shape of my life now at 40! I can run, do stairs, ride bikes with the little ones, and play with them however they want me to. And they won’t ever remember me as the fat Auntie. The oldest one is 6 now and was 4 when I started losing weight. All of them will hopefully remember me as the fun Auntie who always walked/biked with them to the park and jumped rope with them.