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cant move forward

Posted by pancake , 12 January 2014 · 203 views

Feeling a bit fed up right now. I dont know if it is just the bad weather and dark nights but ive found myself looking at my life more than usual. Am i where i want to be? Im feeling increasingly frustrated by my lack of energy to move forward. I have a list of things i want to do, to become a full person and indepedant but i just find it so hard to attually do any of them. I blame it on anxiety  but although that is a factor there is something stopping me moving forward and i cant work out what.
I have been thinking about my relationship with my partenr. I t has been on and off for years. I dont attually know if im with him or not becuase if i say i am with him i get freaked out that i have to feel a certain way and if i say i not with him i get deoressed lonely and scared. Im starting to think that i dont want to becaome more independant because it could lead to loss of the relationship even if that may be what in the end i want..I know it would be a good thing to be more able to do things on my own but i just cant find the energy or enthusiasm and i think this deep down is what is stopping me. 

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