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Creepy Dream

Posted by MaggieS , 19 July 2013 · 106 views

I had the craziest,scariest and most vivid dream last night. I even woke up sweating and my heart beating fast and feeling scared and nervous. In my dream I was locked inside an apartment and my father and his friend were trying to get in, but I kept telling them no. Then my dad's friend who had short curly black hair who was wearing a red polo shirt and a light blue colored jeans started banging on the window. He gave me a creepy like smile and said "come on baby you gave him some, why don't you come give me some too?" Then the next thing I knew they were trying to open the apartment door. I felt so scared and so vulnerable, so weak...then I woke up. It was all nothing but a dream, yet when I woke up I felt as though that really happened. I never gave anyone anything. He took my innocence away when he molested me....

What I don't understand is that it has nearly been three and a half years since the sexual abuse stopped, but to this day I'm still having trouble coping with what happened...

So sorry about your dream. I can totally relate. My childhood abuse stopped over three decades ago and I still have bad dreams that seem totally real and completely out of the blue. Not anywhere near as often and I am not as impacted by them now. Well when I first wake up I am but the impact does not linger like it used to. For me the dreams were often a push that I needed to work on something, I just had to figure out what that was. And it was not always a past memory I had to work on. Sometimes it was something I was currently doing in my life that I was maybe heading down the wrong path with or some such thing. Anyway they do get better over time. For some they probably even completely go away. The abuse may stop but I don't believe it ever stops impacting us. It may not, in the end, define us by any means, but it does impact us. Take gentle care of yourself. Light a candle, take a hot bath, read, listen to music, something soothing for you.

This dream was definitely out of the blue. I've tried to stop thinking about what had happened to me completely, but it is these kinds of little things that takes me back and make me feel so scared and weak.

Thank you Lolli for your comment, and I'm sorry for what happened to you :(.

July 2016

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