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am i insane?

Posted by bluebird88 , 27 January 2013 · 28 views

i feel overwhelmed. i can't stop thinking about everything and i'm so stressed out. my head doesn't hurt but it's like sore. i can't relax. i hate this feeling. i don't know what to do with myself. i don't know why i'm so strung up about everything. why can't i just relax and be normal and just move on with my life and...


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1/25/13 11:59pm

Posted by bluebird88 , 25 January 2013 · 27 views

it's a beautiful night tonight. a few years ago i wouldn't have bothered to get off my bed and go see it. a few years ago i wouldn't have bothered to give my little sister a hug goodnight, or laugh with my little brother, or play with our crazy white cat, Chicken. i wouldn't have bothered, a few years ago, to say "i love you- drive saf...


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just ranting.

Posted by bluebird88 , 25 January 2013 · 25 views

i hate it when people try to give me advice on how to deal with this, yet they have never been through what i have been through. they have no idea what the hell they're talking about. they don't know what i'm feeling or what i'm dealing with- so they need to shut the hell up.

i hate it when people call me crazy. i feel like if those peopl...


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explaining why i am depressed, to him

Posted by bluebird88 , 25 January 2013 · 23 views

i had just sent an email this morning to Zach, in regards to the last text he sent me, saying "i want you to be happy, tho."
the email explained my situation, the things that had happened in my life leading up to the point where he and i met on facebook. i was telling him, basically, that i had never really gotten a chance, over the past five year...


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i have no friends.

Posted by bluebird88 , 24 January 2013 · 33 views

i feel so so absolutely alone. was i meant to be alone and friendless?
i am an epileptic.
i have always been a weird kid. just... weird. i think i was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder.
and now with the sexual assault and going thru that- the few friends that i did have- completely abandoned me. my best friend since fifth grade started datin...


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Animated (poem)

Posted by bluebird88 , 24 January 2013 · 22 views

I am Alice and I am Tinkerbell and I am falling
down that
flashing black and white rabbit
hole and I am flying into
everybody's
faces. Arms flailing, arms
crossed. Blonde-hair-blue-eyed
animation.
"What is with that girl?" they always ask.
Don't worry.
I am simply falling despite my wings again-
to where- I am unsure. I do not worry. I...


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borderline (a poem)

Posted by bluebird88 , 24 January 2013 · 24 views

There isn't anything beyond this porch.
The world exists beyond this porch.
The ash tray's listless upon this porch.
The biker persists despite this porch.
A home, a house,
a breath of air, a carcinogen,
an question to a God-awful answer:
this porch.
The planks nailed down -precise or chaotic?
The 2X4's -aware of their oblivion?
Me -etching a...


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who gives.

Posted by bluebird88 , 24 January 2013 · 30 views

i don't feel like going here will do me any good. i am a hopeless case. i have created 2 accounts on here before but i wasn't very good at expressing myself. at one point somebody said "i'm sorry, but i just can't relate to you."

i feel so, so lost and desperate and shitty and useless. there's no fucking point. nothing will he...






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