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i have no friends.

Posted by bluebird88 , 24 January 2013 · 54 views

i feel so so absolutely alone. was i meant to be alone and friendless?
i am an epileptic.
i have always been a weird kid. just... weird. i think i was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder.
and now with the sexual assault and going thru that- the few friends that i did have- completely abandoned me. my best friend since fifth grade started dating the dude. then my sister starts dating the dude's cousin. my own cousin told me not to go to the cops or tell my parents about what happened. so i didn't, for six months. my other best friend since fifth grade, A*****, told me about two months ago that she thinks i'm insane and that i've changed alot in the past five years. i stopped talking to her because it hurt so fucking much, her telling me that she thinks i'm insane.

i just can't take it anymore- people judging me and treating me as though i'm worthless. what the fuck. i'm so, so goddamn sick of shitty people. i just want a support group. i just want some friends. that's it.
it fucking hurts like hell, not having any friends that actually care that i was sexually assuaulted. not even my fucking sister cares.
do i matter at all??? what the hell..... i can't stand the fact that she's dating the COUSIN of my rapist. i can't stand it. i hate it. i fucking hate it.



thank you for the support... i'm just venting. idk. i just hate the way people can be. people who haven't gone through it can be so fucking insensitive and judgemental and i'm so, so sick of the people in my life who i grew up trusting with everything. it hurts like hell, even more than the rape itself.
Dunno how to reply to this. I seriously hate this kind of people.

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Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.