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EVH's Blog



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Silence is pure

Posted by EVH , in T-Sessions, Uncategorized 11 June 2013 · 74 views

I sit silently and watch the world around me. They say we live in silence. They're wrong. We never live in silence. Survivors never live in silence. Our bodies, our scars and our tears. What we say, what we do, what we decide and what we choose. The way we live our lives, the way we think about ourselves, the way we see ourselves when we look in the m...


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Hold me

Posted by EVH , in T-Sessions, Uncategorized 09 June 2013 · 88 views




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try again try again try again try again

Posted by EVH , in T-Sessions, Uncategorized 08 June 2013 · 88 views

Whatever you decide. I think at this point this will not make things worse. I know what is happening now is not what you have expected...


It's ok


Just make sure you're not alone now, everything else you will figure out eventually ,like the bathroom door yesterday, good job


I ate a piece of banana


Hey awesome! How about a piece of bread...


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Been a long day

Posted by EVH , in T-Sessions, Uncategorized 08 June 2013 · 67 views

I decided to stop fighting. I can't do it anymore.

Before I left home I spent a while in my backyard to make sure I'll remember the feeling of walking barefoot in the grass, the feeling of the sunshine on my face and of the wind in my hair. The feeling of being myself. I forgot this feeling. I don't remember.

I think what hurts the most is...


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Who are you

Posted by EVH , in T-Sessions, Uncategorized 08 June 2013 · 62 views

Who are you

Don't be scared I will not hurt you

Who are you

I am your friend. I will hold your hand.

I'm cold

I will warm you

That's a nice feeling. What's your name?

I do not have a name. name me.

Are you a boy or a girl?

I can be whatever and whoever you want me to be.

Why are you here?

To hold your hand. To ease your pain....


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stop

Posted by EVH , in T-Sessions, Uncategorized 07 June 2013 · 57 views

my god, jesus
enough stop please


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Keep up the fight

Posted by EVH , in T-Sessions, Uncategorized 06 June 2013 · 85 views

"Keep up the fight my darling, keep it up"

the final wave is coming, the final hit...it will either take away what's left or leave me like this. My doctor says there are fights we will never win no matter how hard we try, no matter how tough we are. He said this is one of them. my last fight.




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Books

Posted by EVH , in Uncategorized, T-Sessions 06 June 2013 · 71 views

We are like books arenít we. Most people only look at the cover. Some of them read the preface. The rest reads reviews and believes in other peopleís opinion. But only few read the whole book and know the true story.


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Millions of little lights

Posted by EVH , in T-Sessions, Uncategorized 05 June 2013 · 78 views

I am going to ask this question for the last time in my life: why?

I don't want to go through this. I don't. is it too much to ask? I read this blog. I read my emails. I learn English. I try to remind myself every single day who I am, what my name is. And I woke up today and didn't remember. I didn't know it. My own name. Then they told...


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Crazy

Posted by EVH , in T-Sessions, Uncategorized 05 June 2013 · 86 views

It has been 16 hrs. It is a nice wall I know, but maybe you look at me? How about you get up, eat, change your clothes? Are you ready to talk to me?


How about you talk to me? I am not getting better am I?


What are you talking about?


I might be cognitively f*cking challenged but I am not deaf and still understand a little German when you talk to your...


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next day

Posted by EVH , in T-Sessions, Uncategorized 05 June 2013 · 83 views

Do not hide there. You do not have to hide. On the bed is better than under the bed, more comfortable. How are you? Chest pain? No? Good.

Still not talking?

Ok, I can see myself how you are.

We are reducing again today ok? We are moving fast I know, but it is better this way for you.

Try to eat something. You have missed a great dinner today. Ok, mayb...


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google translator

Posted by EVH , in Uncategorized, T-Sessions 03 June 2013 · 103 views

google translator:

I see that the tornado passed through the room? Ewa stop you break your arm and make a hole in the wall.

Stop it. Slow down I do non understand you. Remember me? Look at me, at the pictures, who is it? Do not come close to you do not worry. I am not touching you. I will give you something to calm down. Sit down.


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Do you remember me?

Posted by EVH , in Uncategorized, T-Sessions 03 June 2013 · 93 views

Eve youíve been sitting there for 8 hours now. How about you get up and walk around a little?

Do you remember me? Do you know who I am? Or why you are here? What did you have for breakfast?

Itís ok. Don't worry. Weíll get there.

You write a blog remember that? Itís in English. Here is the website. You said you were posting some of our sessions. H...


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Tiny dancer in Berlin

Posted by EVH , in T-Sessions, Uncategorized 02 June 2013 · 81 views

Berlin. Here I am. The air smells so familiar. People look familiar. I understand the language. Iím home. Went to the central station. Grabbed a coffee from the same coffee shop guy as always. Went to my favourite bakery to get my butter-cheese pretzel. Sat down and looked around. There it was, right in front of me, laughing in my face and mocking me. My...


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Wait till you see my smile

Posted by EVH , in Uncategorized, T-Sessions 01 June 2013 · 88 views

Ok guys. Let's do it. Ready for whatever. Wait till you see my smile :)




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For my Secondary Survivor

Posted by EVH , in T-Sessions, Uncategorized 30 May 2013 · 86 views

Listened to this song while packing my bag and thought about my Secondary Survivor. I know you're out there. I'm sorry, I wish I could remember you...But I know you're there. I can feel it. Believing in me, supporting me. My brain is just too stupid to remember. So sorry for that. You're awesome, I know it.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?...


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Saturday night

Posted by EVH , in T-Sessions, Uncategorized 30 May 2013 · 84 views

Saturday night approaching fast.

Thinking a lot. Feeling a lot. Freaking out a lot.


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The word of the day

Posted by EVH , in T-Sessions, Uncategorized 29 May 2013 · 88 views

Me: Do we have to talk about this?
T: Yes
Me: yes? That's it? Yes? Shouldn't you say something like we don't have to if you don't feel like talking about it or something?
T: No
Me: Oh come on. Can we negotiate?
T: No
Me: jeez look I tell you something about my school. Come on. Or something else.
T: No
Me: ok no officaly became...


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Let me entertain you

Posted by EVH , in T-Sessions, Uncategorized 29 May 2013 · 76 views

If you think your life is boring, come and spend one day with me. Snacks provided. Coffee all you can drink. Let me entertain you.

Today I wanted to pack my bag, But to be able to pack a bag, you need...a bag. Of course I didn't remember where it was. You know the feeling of looking for things like everywhere even in places they wouldn't even fit...


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Chicken soup

Posted by EVH , 29 May 2013 · 61 views

making some chicken soup. Mum would be proud.
I need to eat something. Well when you forget to buy food you have to eat a chocolate easter bunny for (late...way too late)dinner. Hate chocolate.






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