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changes and hope

Posted by EVH , 02 September 2013 · 103 views

Had an appointment with psychiatrist yesterday to get a second opinion. He made lots of tests. It's not schizophrenia. It's not paranoia. He said that to him I seem to be more normal than many of the "normal" people he knows. Made an appointment with another psychiatrist today though. She is also of the opinion it's not schizophrenia. Both doctors have done some more tests. Will get the results back soon.

Also got new scans done today and sent them to my doctors. Should know more tonight.
Going to Marian Valley to find a spiritual guide and to talk and find a way to be just Eve again.

I don't want to lose my friend. I'm trying so hard not to fall apart. I'm so gutted. The hope she gave me is my everything right now. I don't know how to believe or pray, I mean, I've never done this before, but I believe as good as I can and I pray using my own words, simple words. Will this be enough? I'm such a small part of the universe, but my hope is so big, my love so strong and my tears and prayers so honest and genuine, but so simple though. Please universe, please spirits, I beg you, don't take my friend away, don't tear us apart. What we had was so beautiful. Michael please give her strength and protect her from all harm. Mother Azna, Mother God, Heavenly Mother you're the emotion, harmonizer, the active helper and keeper of life, you are the unconditional eternal love, you come when a hand needs to be held or a comforting hug offered, please help me send her my love and positive energy. Mother Azna you are the Prima Mobilae, you are the crusader against negative energy. Your beautiful golden sword can take the brunt of any negative energy. You can slice through the negative and issues of difficulty. Please help me fix all my wrongs. Please help me and my friend find a way back to each other. Please help me make her light shine brighter every day. Surround her with warmth and love. I have faith in you Mother Goddess. I pray day and night. I believe day and night. I hope day and night. I hope so much my sister friend will not leave.

God I miss her. So much.

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