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it's over

Posted by EVH , in Hallucinations, Uncategorized 08 August 2013 · 53 views

Eve?

Fuck off. Fuck you! Leave me the fuck alone. What are you staring at?

Get up please. Clean the wounds. Eve, get up.

Fuck off. Fuck you. Fuck your light. Fuck your stories. I hate you.

I know. Get up ok? Come Iíll show you something.

I donít want you to show me your shit anymore.

Itís not my shit, itís your shit.

Fuck you! You want to bring my memory back again? For a few minutes? Oh thank you so fucking much you son of a bitch! Why the fuck are you doing this? You think itís funny? Remembering and forgetting? You made me remember once. Then you took it away. Now youíre taking her away? Now you want me to stay away? Not to come close? To keep distance? What the fuck were all our efforts for then? You bring us together and then you say youíre sorry but you didnít expect the darkness to get so fucking dark and powerful and now I have to go through this alone? Why? Because you want me to learn some ridiculous lessons?? Fuck you and your fucking lessons. And now youíre telling me I brought it on myself? Because I was too stubborn? Because I wasnít reacting fast enough? Because I didnít want to understand your fucking riddles? Because I made wrong decisions? Now itís all my fault? I let them become so strong? I didnít let the light in her get stronger? I wasnít trying hard enough? I wasnít fighting hard enough? I have no memory you sick fuck! Now here is a riddle for you: Fuck you! Yeah take everything I love from me! Why not? I can handle it right? I can take it. Like I always do. I donít need anything and anyone?! I'm a fucking wonder woman, wait let me go get my rope. Was this my lesson? You think I donít deserve anything from life? What do you want from me? What do you want from this stupid little human being? From this stupid woman? WHAT!? People around me are living their lives. Having careers, families, friends, having fun, partying, studying. I donít even remember when was the last time I was having fucking fun! Donít I deserve it? Why? Am I worse than others? Am I worth less than other people? Do I deserve less than others? Is this all I deserve? I didnít even get a chance to recover from the shit that happened recently and now I have to deal with even more shit? Is shit all I deserve? WELL IS IT?! ANSWER MY QUESTION you fucking guardian! Fuck you!! Fuck you!

Eve, whatís your decision? They are getting stronger and I cannot show up here as often as I used to. We need to talk.

Oh Iím so done talking to you, you fucking hallucination. Get the fuck out. And tell THEM, whoever the fuck they are that I donít give a fuck about who they are, where they come from and what they want and how strong they are. They want to haunt me? Well be my guests mother fuckers! Want my soul? Take it! But FYI I donít have a soul fuckers! So I donít give a fuck about this fucking shit! Leave me the fuck alone. Itís over. Whatever it was, itís over. O.V.E.R. Itís a fucking nightmare. What the fuck am I doing here? How have I got here. Playing some stupid games. Wasting my time. Wasting my life. Jesus, seriously?!!! I know my life is fucked up. But this???! STOP hurting my back you mother fucker! Fuck you!!! Oh, so now youíre hurting me too? Oh how great, yeah I love getting nose bleeds and headaches. Thatís all youíve got?! Fuck you! Fuck off! Let me tell you something you little shit, you can take everything from me. My memory, happiness, joy, love, peace, but I will never let you take the memory of that day. Of that soup. Blanket. Arms. Warmth. Safety. Never. Fuck you! Fuck your stupid riddles. Fuck your stupid games.

Your anger only makes them stronger.

I donít give a fuck. Shut the fuck up. Fuck off. Jesus, I'm so fucking crazy I can't believe it.



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